Discussion in 'Ham Radio Discussions' started by K3BEQ, Apr 13, 2019.

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  1. N2EY

    N2EY XML Subscriber QRZ Page

    I don't think so.

    IMHO, the real issue is: "who gets to define what marriage is and isn't?" Or, "who makes the rules?"

    Partnership, sacrifice, common good, open communication, shared values and shared responsibilities and all that sound really good, but they're all general terms - and in the real world it's the details that matter. And what works for one situation doesn't necessarily work for another.

    Having one's own time/space/money can often be the key to having a relationship survive and prosper.

    What makes it more of a sporting course is that "what works" changes over time. Some of what we know from the past is useful, some isn't, and the mix is always changing.
    N2SR, N6HCM and K7MH like this.
  2. WB2WIK

    WB2WIK Platinum Subscriber Platinum Subscriber QRZ Page


    Actually, I could take a lot more time to play with equipment and antennas, operate on the air, go to club meetings and all sorts of stuff than I actually take -- maybe because I've done so much of that in my lifetime that it's not exciting as it used to be. However, my wife would never try to curtail my activities in any way, any more than I'd try to curtail hers.
    WA7PRC likes this.
  3. KD2ACO

    KD2ACO Platinum Subscriber Platinum Subscriber Life Member QRZ Page

    Especially when you have kids.
    N2EY likes this.
  4. N2EY

    N2EY XML Subscriber QRZ Page

    Yep. Or when anything else changes.
  5. WB2WIK

    WB2WIK Platinum Subscriber Platinum Subscriber QRZ Page

    Yep, been there four times.

    When my kids were very young, I actually spent more time operating than I do now that they're grown and gone.

    I think that's because they'd hang out in the "shack" and play games on the floor behind me and stuff, and I'd play with them between contacts, but keep an eye on them all the time while the XYL was doing other things, or resting.

    Then, my first had digestive problems her entire first year and would cry after "eating" (nursing or bottle, then baby food) every single time until she outgrew that after about a year. One thing that calmed her down was a ride in the car, so I'd strap her into her carseat in the back and drive around...working HF from the mobile as I drove, and it would quiet her down and she'd finally fall asleep in the car seat.

    That might have taken 30-60 minutes, enough for a few contacts including some very late-night ones when I normally wouldn't be operating from home. Caught some good openings in the wee hours.:)

    There's always a way...thankfully all this was when I was a lot younger and had a lot of energy and didn't need much sleep.:p
    KD2ACO likes this.
  6. WG7X

    WG7X Platinum Subscriber Platinum Subscriber QRZ Page

    Jim, that's OK. This, after all is an open discussion. But after forty-five years of marriage to the same person, I tend to think that I have a pretty good idea of how to do marriage.

    Yeah, what works for one may not work for all.
    KM1H and VK4HAT like this.
  7. WJ4U

    WJ4U Ham Member QRZ Page

    My spouse is fond of saying "no one else would have either of us." Mostly I think she is right! :p
  8. N2EY

    N2EY XML Subscriber QRZ Page

    You have a pretty good idea of how to do marriage for you and that other person.


    Here's the thing:

    I've seen marriages that were supposedly doomed from the start last decades - "till death do us part" - because the couple somehow figured out how to make it work for them. And I've seen marriages that were supposedly made in heaven go on the rocks in a few years for all sorts of reasons.

    And everything in between.

    So all I can conclude is that "nobody really knows, everybody has to figure it out for themselves".

    Congrats on 45 years!

    73 de Jim, N2EY
  9. VK4HAT

    VK4HAT Ham Member QRZ Page

    I think there are a lot of things common, trust, respect, equality being right up there. Try being a 1950's kind of guy with todays young women and see how far it gets anyone. I am not sure it even worked back then either, you only have to look at the divorce rates in seniors and wonder why they bothered to fake it for so long. The largest growing living in poverty sector is over 60's women, who stayed at home and looked after the man. Todays young women are having none of that, and rightfully so. I know my daughters would not put up with partners who control them, money and their lives. Its 50 50 or not at all.
    N2EY and N6HCM like this.
  10. WG7X

    WG7X Platinum Subscriber Platinum Subscriber QRZ Page

    Yep! And that's all I need to know.
    N2EY and W7UUU like this.

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