I wonder

Discussion in 'On the Road' started by KL7AJ, Aug 28, 2017.

ad: L-HROutlet
ad: l-rl
ad: Left-3
ad: MessiPaoloni-1
ad: Subscribe
ad: l-assoc
ad: Left-2
ad: L-MFJ
  1. K4KWH

    K4KWH Ham Member QRZ Page

    No, you got THAT wrong too!;) Its UDDERLY ridiculous!:D LMAO! Also a MOOOOOOO_T point!
    (Jack Benny--"Now CUT THAT OUT!!!!!":p
  2. N2EY

    N2EY Ham Member QRZ Page

    "Where does dragon milk come from?"
    "Cows with short legs"
  3. N6QIC

    N6QIC Premium Subscriber QRZ Page

    A local here in Cali is KD6UMC or, Kick dirt under my cow.

    A school teacher asked her class "Where does milk come from?" the class replied, the grocery store.
  4. W4KJG

    W4KJG Subscriber QRZ Page

    I guess I'm still a little slow. Coming from the backwoods, my mind had different meanings for words and terms.

    Growing up, I had a totally different understanding of the term "until the cows come home". I just assumed the saying meant late afternoon/dusk. We raised dairy cows when I was a kid. The milk cows knew the routine. They knew when it was dinner time and time for the evening milking. They'd come into the milking barn from the furthest pastures and calmly go to their assigned stanchion.

    Same with "ends meat." To me it was the end parts of a large bologna that were sliced off from each end to square the ends. It was cheaper than regular bologna slices. I just thought it meant going cheap.

    Worse yet, living close to the Canadian border, I was almost 22 before I ever realized that Canada was a "foreign" country. In those days it was no different going into Ontario or Manitoba, than it was going from Wisconsin to Minnesota, or to North Dakota. The money was on par -- that is a Canadian dollar was the same and a US dollar. Uncle Sam decided I should visit California in 1969 and was I told that about half the money in my wallet was "foreign" and I couldn't use it to buy anything.

    To this day, at age 70, I still find that some of my understandings are just not right.o_O

    Common sense isn't always common sense. But, at least the cows still know when to come home!
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2017
    K5URU and WA7WJR like this.
  5. AC0GT

    AC0GT Ham Member QRZ Page

    What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
    What do you call a cow with no legs? Nothing, 'cause it ain't coming if you call it's name.
    What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MAMA!

    Yep, I just typed in a "your mama" joke. I just ran out of puns, and that's no bull.

    Also, did you know that drinking fresh milk can be hazardous to your health? Sure is, those cows will kick you in the head.
    K5URU likes this.
  6. W4KJG

    W4KJG Subscriber QRZ Page

    I never got kicked in the head, but I've sure had some crazy things happen when pulling a calf. Like getting my arms pulled back in causing my face to be pulled up against the anatomy just above where the calf was coming from.

    As for the hazards of drinking milk straight from a cow, there are many. We always kept a number of barn cats. Overnight the cats slept on the backs of the restful cows in the milking stanchions. Particularly at the morning milking, these cats wanted breakfast. As we started to sterilize the udders and hook up the milking machines, these cats would crowd around to get their warm squeezes of milk. They could get vicious if they weren't getting their share.

    Oh, the joys of growing up on a farm. I sure wouldn't want to trade any of it.

    Time to go out and feed my fish ponds. I'm going to have to thin some very soon before the weather turns. Way too many big catfish. A neighborhood fish fry we will have. Oh, and they know how to line up, just like the cows. They hear my footsteps or UTV before sunset and you can see them coming from all directions. Then they open their mouths and slurp up the feed pellets like vacuum cleaners.
    K5URU likes this.
  7. K4KWH

    K4KWH Ham Member QRZ Page

    We farmed chickens. Did a huge garden where we canned, took peanuts and 'taters to the market, and shared with the neighbors. No cows, tho. However, it was farm country and our neighbors had cows, so I was exposed to them as well. One nearby farm had a long horn cow with LONG horns that came from the side of her head. Mrs Morgan had raised this cow from birth & she was the only one that could handle "Booger". She got the name honestly because she'd chase you if you went in the pasture and she saw you. Several times, my little buddy Charlie & I would go play in the barn, swinging by a rope from one loft to the other. A couple times we got trapped in the barn because Booger spied us and came into the barn where she snorted and pawed, daring us to come down. "MAMA!!!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!! MA_MAAAAAAAAA!!! COME GET BOOGER!!!", We'd scream. :) Mama Morgan would come and grab Booger by a horn, "NOW, HEAR ME, COW! What do ya think yer doin' scaring the boys like that?" Then she'd lead her away by her horn as if nothing was happening and put her in the lower pasture & shut the gate. Meantime, Booger was learning how to nudge the latch on the gate so she could get back up to the barn, unbeknownst to a couple of 10 y/o boys. SO! We thought it was safe to play in the barn and pasture when we "knew" Booger was in the lower 40, so to speak.

    One day we were playing chase in the upper pasture when we heard a huffing noise. We looked, and it was BOOGER not 30 feet from us! YIKES!!:eek::D WE both screamed and ran for the pasture gate. The gate was attached to a crepe myrtle tree which had a gap in it just wide enough for small boys to catapult thru. I was a a bit faster than Charles, and I beat him to the gate and lept thru the gap like an olympic runner! Charles wasn't so lucky. When he jumped thru the V in the tree, his suspenders got caught in the limbs, and he was stuck with this "mean"(?) cow on our heels! I was frantically trying to untangle my buddy's suspenders, and a panicked Charlie began to scream in rapid fire, "MAMA-MAMA-MAMA, BOOGER-BOOGER-BOOGER!! MAMA-MAMA-MAMA, BOOGER-BOOGER-BOOGER! We were both in hysterical fear of that cow!

    The cow stopped. Looked at us, chewing her cud, and went MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She made no attempt to "hook" us with her horns. She just stood there looking at two very panicky 10 year olds.

    It was puzzling to us after having been chased a number of times (usually when we thought she was elsewhere), then she seemed to be puzzled by our behavior. We got loose and went into the house for a stiff drink----of Kool aid, that is!!!:D
    K5URU and W4KJG like this.

Share This Page

ad: Radclub22-1