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2035 - Newspaper Headlines

Discussion in 'Ham Radio Discussions' started by N0PU, May 13, 2004.

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  1. KF4LNE

    KF4LNE Ham Member QRZ Page

    why cant I live in 2371 and have a subspace SSB rig?
     
  2. W5HTW

    W5HTW Ham Member QRZ Page

    </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (KG6QQL @ May 13 2004,18:31)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Well, some people are already talking that to get another Ca. Governor into the White House. [​IMG][/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
    Yes, but if that happens ... our first new American president will be Juan Jesus, Rafael Gonzales Y Guttierez, from Chihuahua City, Chihuahua with a summer home in Santa Fe.

    Swartzenburger doesn't stand a chance.

    Ed
     
  3. W5HTW

    W5HTW Ham Member QRZ Page

    </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N0PU @ May 13 2004,14:15)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">News Headlines for the year 2035.

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

    (Boy, do I look forward to this!! (Not the killing but California as a REAL foreign country instead of a pretend on.)

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.

    (That's the headline from 2004. At least here. )

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    (And is now on the menu at Burger King)

    Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

    (Baby was immediately exterminated as being unnatural. )

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    (Only we don't know what anyone's sex is. )

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    (Is she presidente of Northern Estados Unidos de Mexico, formerly known as the USA? Or is she Presidente of Cuba?)


    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    ( He is in Guadalajara this morning campaigning. )

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

    Results of 35 year study indicate that Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    (Some old fella named Bush something or other.)

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered as weapons by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.


    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

    Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a Voting Machine.

    (And are still recounting the 2008 election. ) [/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>


    Comments below

    We are an equal opportunity offender - racist, sexist, whatever comes along!
     
  4. NZ3M

    NZ3M XML Subscriber QRZ Page

    &quot;but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking&quot;

    She also banned all makeup because &quot;it just doesn't work&quot;

    Dave

    ps. there will be a revolution before the liberal/communists get that far out of hand.
     
  5. KD4AMG

    KD4AMG Ham Member QRZ Page

    [​IMG] well ...leave it up to EZE to be his usual &quot; pessimistic , ornery self &quot;..........hey dont start fussing at me...you did nothing but REPEAT what I said...so you are just as bad !!

    ---ai4ep---
    ...gone to DAYTON in my mini-helicopter...so I know I will NOT see any of you there ( can not get away from that key board long enough !&#33[​IMG]
     
  6. W6EZ

    W6EZ Ham Member QRZ Page

    </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (ke4mej @ May 13 2004,19:25)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N0PU @ May 13 2004,18:35)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">This is tough sledding but I'll go on if anyone wishes...[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>

    No thanks, you can quit any time now...The original post was borderline funny. Of course it was also borderline racist, sexist, homophobic...did i leave any out?

    73
    Chuck[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
    Yeah, it took a shot at almost everyone.

    THAT&quot;S WHY I LIKE IT!!
     
  7. W4ROT

    W4ROT Ham Member QRZ Page

    Harry,In small print .............
    Dateline June 15,2035.
    Tex Avery film festival draws record crowds. Stats just released..
    Average age of attendee..42.235894 years
    Bimodal distribution
    9 year olds at 43%..81 years olds at 52% .
    5% lied about age...
    Margin of error 2%.
    Small fat kid quoted &quot;I don't give a crap..bring on the popcorn.&quot;

    I'll be the one with gum on my shoe pushing the average age up.
    2035,1952,2548...makes no difference to me.
    Take care sir,
    w4rot
     
  8. WA5KRP

    WA5KRP Ham Member QRZ Page

    In 2035:


    .  The U.S. Mint melted down the last metallic coins remaining in circulation.  With less than 6 months remaining on the Federal Reserve Bank's total currency recall, it is estimated that less than a half-trillion dollars in paper currency remains in circulation.

    .  Boeing announced its winning bid to update the aging B-52U-3 (third generation, unmanned) Stratofortress with Tesla invisibility technology.

    .  Scientists disclose the discovery of ruins located 19.5° north latitude on the dark side of the moon.

    .  American Express, the last company to retain plastic credit cards, and Bank America, announced they will jointly offer Texas Instruments' IMP77 implants to its customers, providing instantaneous credit, banking, cellular, internet, identification, passport, and GPS services.

    .  Sears Kenmore introduces the world's first solid state refrigerator/water heater using Peltier thermoelectric technology.

    .  New York City was the fifth major American city to limit burials to a volume of one cubic foot due to dwindling cemetary space.  Families wishing to avoid cremation of loved ones will have to seek burial outside of city limits.

    .  Sony announces it has purchased the rights to the Turner Classic Movies library.  Gone With the Wind will be the first movie film converted to holographic compatible digital format (HCDF),  for viewing on Sony's new HoloVision Series TV.

    .  Ralph Nader has once again announced his candidacy for President at the age of 105.  In doing so, he has surpassed Harold Stassen as the longest running Presidential candidate.

    .  Freeport Industries is the subject of a fraud investigation by the FTC following the disclosure their zero-point energy generators could not withstand scrutiny by a panel of scientists.  It's stock fell 22 points before trade was halted, costing investors an estimated $3.2B.

    .  Friends has surpassed I Love Lucy as the most aired TV sitcom rerun.
     
  9. KC7JTY

    KC7JTY Banned QRZ Page

    </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N0PU @ May 13 2004,18:35)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">This is tough sledding but I'll go on if anyone wishes...[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
    Harry: You are a man after mine own heart. (It would have been better if you had concocted the list yourself though). Thanks for coming out of the closet. The ride can be enjoyable as hell. QRZ is some of the best entertainment anywhere.
     
  10. KC7JTY

    KC7JTY Banned QRZ Page

    </span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (ke4mej @ May 13 2004,19:25)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N0PU @ May 13 2004,18:35)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">This is tough sledding but I'll go on if anyone wishes...[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>

    No thanks, you can quit any time now...The original post was borderline funny.  Of course it was also borderline racist, sexist, homophobic...did i leave any out?

    73
    Chuck[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
    HAW! (Sorry Steve).
    Harry: Be carefull. In time you might become like me.......(like plinking ducks in a shooting gallery) and enjoying it so much I drool.
     
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