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ky5u
12-21-2005, 03:23 AM
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the band

Not a creature was stirring, not even in "2" Land;

The coax was strung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that DX soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of DXCC danced in my head;

Mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my ARES Vest,

Had just settled down to tap out a "test",

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from rig to see who's TV I had splattered.

Away to the window like a Vibroplex dash,

I Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the new-fallen yagi

Gave the lustre of mid-day to the upchuck I was gagging,

When, what from the chaos should my wondering eyes see,


But a miniature sleigh, with an ICOM 703,

It had a little old driver, and a mag-mount so slick,

I knew in a moment it must be a Hamstick.

More rapid than QSB his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and loudly defamed;

"Dang, Dacher! Dumb, Dancer! Stupid, Prancer and Vixen!

Blind, Comet! and Cupid! Goofy, Donder and Blitzen!

Not to the top of the porch or the top of the wall,

But into his StepIR so hard it did fall???"

As dry leaves that before the wild invectives fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, pointed in the sky,

So up to the house-top the trajectory they'd had,

They'd trashed my new Yagi, and St. Nicholas was mad.


And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

He drew up his hand, and was turning around,

As he swung at poor Rudolph he fell with a bound.

Into the backyard, he landed in soot,

His clothes were all tarnished with grass stains and shmutz;

A bundle of Ham Accessories he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a Martin Jue just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his temper how merry!

He looked like Jim Haynie, with his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a pout,

Like David Sumner when a mailout comes back and no money comes out;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his lips,

Like a crusty old Elmer with his help and his tips,

He had a scower on his face and fat little thumbs,

That thumbed at his nose for removing Element 1.

He was chubby and plump, a right grumpy OM,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my Beam;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know he was thinking instead;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And raised all the coax; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the tower the yagi rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a yell,

And they all would be more careful, oh that I could tell.


Cause' I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Hit another Antenna, and we'll be eating Vennison tonight"

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from AG4YO

KE5FRP
12-23-2005, 01:12 AM
Quote[/b] (AG4YO @ Dec. 20 2005,21:23)]"Hit another Antenna, and we'll be eating Vennison tonight"
He's gonna need a bigger freezer!

Thinkin' of that, y'all have heard Jeff Foxyworthy's take, right?:

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.

The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys,
and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives.

My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.

He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
and you ain't taking me in without probable cause."

Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like?"

The Sheriff replied, "He's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly,
that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.

He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red.

I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell,
it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail.

I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten,
and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.

But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.

Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun,
when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'.
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.

So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head.
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled.

And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."

kb2vxa
12-24-2005, 12:05 AM
Then there's Larry The Cable Guy's politically correct version.

Aw HELL! I'm a gittin' a beer an' mah shotgun! Now where's mah doe in heat urine? C'mon Dancer, Donner and Blizen. (whistle) Oh Ruuudolph...