Limericks

[KW4MW]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket


fooled ya, didn't I # http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

add your own

[kl7aj]

Hear the sad story of Lenny McBiggs
He ate 1525 figs
He ran to the throne and sat on the socket
While giving a groan, he took off like a rocket
There lacked enough T.P. in town to absorb it
As Lenny McBiggs shot clear into orbit
So now, when I think of poor little Lenny
If I'm offered figs, I never have any.

Eric

KL7AJ

[kb1ils]

Oh man, being a Cape Cod native, we have a totally different, and very inappropriate version of that one! In fact I never knew the "dirty" version was based on a real limerick...thanks for that!

[K8ERV]

I like the young man from Kent-----

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

[kb2vxa]

Hi all,

I guess you can say it all started in Ireland, Limmerick that is. (;->)

One finds the best in the men's room so here's one of the best I've found, cleaned up of course to avoid the moderator's wrath.

Those who write on poophouse walls roll their poop in little balls.
Those who read those words of wit EAT those balls of poop.

One from the Turnpike rest area.

Here I sit and strain my pooper
giving birth to a New Jersey State Trooper!

Must have been written by a trucker. (;->)

Don't look now but it was seen in the Howard Stern rest room at one of the stops, NO KIDDING! Somehow approriate a plaque was placed on the wall in "honor" of a famous potty-mouth.

73 de Warren KB2VXA

[N8CPA]

An ole Irish gent named O'Glivy
Drowned when he fell into a privvy.
And he'd had a twin brother
Who'd drowned in another
So they were interred* toguther.

*That's a pun!
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[KW4MW]

Ok - limericks have a particular format in that they consist of 5 lines.

The #pattern of the rhyme is #a - a - b - b - a #with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. #They are usually humorous.

Let's hear a few for St. Patty's day which is next week. #

Examples:

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,
Really liked playing with fire.
One night in the dark
He swam with a shark,
And his voice is now two octaves higher.
...................
There was a young lady named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
................
There was an old gent from Hyde
Who ate rotten apples and died.
#The apples fermented
#Inside the lamented
And made cider inside his inside.
........................
There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!
............................
The limerick's callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
By persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.

[w5klb]

When it comes to hansom I'm not a great star
There are others more hansomer by far
But my face I don't mind it
It's because I'm behind it
It's the folks in front that I jar.

[G0GQK]

A travelling guy from Kidwelly,
Met a traveling gal from Pwllheli,
Engaged in the Yemen,
They married in Bremen,
And sued for divorce in New Delhi

[K7KBN]

KW4MW - there's MUCH more to the saga of Nan, and the man, and Pa's bucket. Here 'tis. (http://www.nantucket.net/YI/limerick/)

[KW4MW]

Quote[/b] ]there's MUCH more to the saga of Nan, and the man, and Pa's bucket Thanks for the link Pat

[K7KBN]

A Catholic priest in New Delhi
Had the Lord's Prayer tattooed on his belly.
By the time that a Brahmin
Read down to the "amen"
He'd b____ both salvation and Kelly.

There once was a fellow named Peter
Who was searching for his gas meter.
Touched a leak with his light,
And arose out of sight,
(And as anyone with a sense of rhythm who reads this can tell, it also destroyed the meter.)

There was a young poet, whose plan
Was to write verse that never would scan.
When they said, "But the thing
Doesn't have any swing."
He replied, "Yeah, I know, but with me -- I have this little hangup in that I try to get as many words in the last line as I possibly can."

[W2ILP]

There once was a computer owner,
Who used dynamite instead of toner,
When he unloaded
His printer exploded,
and his mouse pad flew off to Pomona!

A user from West Pennsylvania,
Got hooked on e-mail mania,
He subscribed to providers,
and joined insiders,
In the Pyramid Club of Albania.

These are just a couple of original limericks
from W2ILP (We 2 Initiate Limerick Posts)

http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[9V1VV]

The was a young man from Dallas,
Who once had a piss in the chalice.
The reason he pee'd
Was purely for need,
And not out of Protestant malice

[N8CPA]

There once was a man named Pease
Whose house was infested with fleas.
So he used gasoline
And the house was last seen
Sailing over the tops of the trees.

There once was a man in Wheeling
Of such a contrary feeling,
If he read on a door,
"DO NOT SPIT ON THE FLOOR,"
He'd jump up and spit on the ceiling.

[W3MIV]

A widow who lived in Rangoon

hung a black-ribboned wreath on her womb,

"to remind me," she said,

"of my husband, who's dead...

and of what put him into his tomb.

[n2nh]

There was a young man who liked phone,
When CW was heard he would groan,
He posted a flame,
Got all of the blame,
And now on CB he does roam.

Your mileage may vary. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[K8ERV]

Gee, I can't come up with any good Limericks. But then, neither has any one else---http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

[K7KBN]

A gay gent who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To place which part of what into whom.

[w6ez]

We talk to distant and foreign lands
By using the allocated HF bands
But those who cry about code
being an out dated mode
are still waiting as they sit on their hands.

Now this is meant to be quite droll
Honest I'm not just a troll
But still if you moan
and let out a groan
be thankful this isn't a poll

[n2nh]

Quote[/b] (w6ez @ Mar. 10 2005,15:37)]We talk to distant and foreign lands
By using the allocated HF bands
But those who cry about code
being an out dated mode
are still waiting as they sit on their hands.
They must be using VOX. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

[w6ez]

foot switch

[ei5ja]

Quote[/b] (KW4MW @ Mar. 08 2005,13:41)]Let's hear a few for St. Patty's day which is next week. #
I know he wore a skirt & all that but he was a man, honest! "Patty" is short for Patricia in this neck of the woods.

Love your Limericks though!

La Feile Padraig shonna diobh go leir agus ar aghaidh
le'n ceol agus ol, (agus an cuid rinnce/damhsa freisin)

73 Ed

[KW4MW]

ei5jaQuote[/b] ] know he wore a skirt & all that but he was a man, honest! "Patty" is short for Patricia in this neck of the woods. Interesting fact Ed. #
St. Patrick's day has been shortened to St. Patty's day here in the US by most of the hoi polloi.
So fellow hams, let's hear a few limericks for St. Patrick's day which is next week.

[KW4MW]

Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
and charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home
Her decline was, alas, exponential.

Said a foolish #ham op of Wales,
"An odour of bean-gas prevails."
He then struck a light
And later that night
Was collected in seventeen pails.

[w4rot]

On Liquor Production
by David M. Smith

A friend who's in liquor production
Owns a still of astounding construction.
The alcohol boils
Through old magnet coils;
She says that it's "proof by induction."


w4rot