w0dz
10-14-2004, 08:25 PM
RESUME
NAME: John Kerry
RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth Multimillions. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
In my career as a U.S. Senator, I have voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill to ever come before me. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months.) I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military, and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months).
I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they had committed atrocities, and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I threw my medals, ribbons, or something like that away in protest. (Or, did #I?) My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard, nor graduate with an M.B.A. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except for marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record ever, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I voted for every liberal piece of legislation ever proposed during my career. I have no plan to help this country, but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PERSONAL:
I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel." I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche." I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop, and feel it reflects our real culture. I own several very large SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, although I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles, and fully blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I make little or no charitable contributions, and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make much more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those countries, although I actually blame George Bush for sending all of those jobs out of our country. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I vehemently oppose any windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
My wife's effective tax rate last year was 11%, but I think you should have a tax increase. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
My name is John Kerry and I served in Vietnam for four months. Oh yeah, I approve of this resume.
NAME: John Kerry
RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth Multimillions. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
In my career as a U.S. Senator, I have voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill to ever come before me. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months.) I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military, and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months).
I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they had committed atrocities, and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I threw my medals, ribbons, or something like that away in protest. (Or, did #I?) My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard, nor graduate with an M.B.A. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except for marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record ever, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I voted for every liberal piece of legislation ever proposed during my career. I have no plan to help this country, but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PERSONAL:
I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel." I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche." I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop, and feel it reflects our real culture. I own several very large SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, although I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles, and fully blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I make little or no charitable contributions, and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make much more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those countries, although I actually blame George Bush for sending all of those jobs out of our country. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I vehemently oppose any windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
My wife's effective tax rate last year was 11%, but I think you should have a tax increase. I served in Vietnam (four months.)
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
My name is John Kerry and I served in Vietnam for four months. Oh yeah, I approve of this resume.