View Full Version : You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if.....
You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if....
You walk down the halls at work loudly whistling some non-tune to yourself. (How come when people whistle to themselves, they rarely are performing an actual, recognizable tune?)
You might be a HUGE doofus if you whistle to yourself in the public lavatory.
You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if....
You wear a ballcap indoors -- at work, at your kids' school functions, in court....
You have a LOT of bumper stickers on your car. And you stick them on surfaces other than the actual bumper because the bumper is full.
You want Howard Dean as President.
You say stuff like "Hot enough for ya?" and "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"
You are a rabid Indianapolis Colts fan.
You are a big galoot, and when you go to the movies, you don't scrunch down when there are people behind you. AND you wear a ballcap in the theater.
You go to a baseball game and read a newspaper or talk on a cell phone the whole time.
You still have to wear a TIE to work, for heaven's sake!
You have to wear a paper hat at work.
dit dit
w3bny
03-02-2004, 06:36 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You walk down the halls at work loudly whistling some non-tune to yourself. (How come when people whistle to themselves, they rarely are performing an actual, recognizable tune?)
You might be a HUGE doofus if you whistle to yourself in the public lavatory.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Sorry....Guilty... Sometimes the music currently being played by "Voices in my head" is so cutting edge that I just have to share it with the rest of the world.
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You wear a ballcap indoors -- at work, at your kids' school functions, in court....[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Guilty again. Especially when I was on Watch and required to be covered indoors.
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You say stuff like "Hot enough for ya?" and "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Guilty.. But it only works when us twidgets used to yell that down to the BT's down in the Fire room! (note: Then we had to run rather quickly or face the wrath of the grease gun.... old Navy Sorry!http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You are a big galoot, and when you go to the movies, you don't scrunch down when there are people behind you. AND you wear a ballcap in the theater.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Sorry Mate.. This big Galoot didnt have a choice of choosing the height I would obtain. Try "scrunching" for a hour or so in a crap-a$$ seat, with a messed up back. Then you'll compliain cuz you feel my knees pushing against your seat back. Make up yer mind eh! But I do have one saving virtue... I dont wear a hat in a theatre! http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You are a rabid Indianapolis Colts fan.....You go to a baseball game and read a newspaper or talk on a cell phone the whole time.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
HOORAY!!! I made it by one! Im not a sports fan what so ever! The only reason...I say again...THE ONLY REASON I pull for the Carolina Panthers/Duke is that my wife is a uhhhhh RABID sports fan and if I would like to ever buy radio parts or have marital relations again........ Well....
My favorite teams are The Carolina Panthers, Duke, and whoever beats UNC!
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You still have to wear a TIE to work, for heaven's sake![/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Guilty....But not by my choice..... Only on Fridays! Im just Contractor Scum! Hey we got them (Government) to back down from a suit coat and tie to just a tie!
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You have to wear a paper hat at work.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Went tracing a wire path thru the galley during an install... Had no choice... Wear it or face the wrath of the Master Chief MS! (this bunnie aint that stoopit... they gots sharp knives! )
OOOH can I add one....
When you sell a hacked/modified amatuer rig on ebay with the VFO showing channel 19 and your call sign as the seller ID! http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif
AB this is AW.....Roger....OUT![B]
You might be a DOOFUS if:
1. You wear a ball cap backwards.
2. You are female and wear "capri pants" waiting for the big flood.
3. You have a number "3" on your run down pick-up truck.
4. You think Glad trash bags are the same as auto glass.
5. You drive a BMW.
6. You like Ralph Nader for President.
7. You have "Bible Sayings" bumper stickers on your car.
8. You are male and remove hair from anywhere but face, ears, and nose.
9. You are a 49ers fan.
10. You ever bought anything from a telemarketer.
11. You ever bought a vacumm cleaner because it had more "AMPS" than a competing brand.
12. You ever bought a Stereo system based soley on "watts" output.
13. You have eaten in a McDonalds in the last 5 years.
14. You are a Technician and want to upgrade, but you're waiting for the rules to change and ax CW testing any day now.
w3bny
03-03-2004, 02:08 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">1. You wear a ball cap backwards. [/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Welder or catcher anyone?
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">5. You drive a BMW.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Wish I made enough money to drive a 7 series, or a Mercedes, or even better yet.. A MOG!
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">7. You have "Bible Sayings" bumper stickers on your car. [/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
No but does God protect me from your followers count?
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">8. You are male and remove hair from anywhere but face, ears, and nose[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Never swam or did bike races eh?
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">13. You have eaten in a McDonalds in the last 5 years.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Sorry I get hungry and when the cash flow is low.
Jeeze... I guess Im just not part of the kool neato hip whoop-whoop bling-bling snoopity dog dog all up in the house crowd like you two. Sigh, its high school all over again (paxil....need paxil).
Ren, dood,
One question. What did you do to Stimpy? I have not seen him in awhile...
Don't take the "Doofus" stuff too personal, I ate at McDonalds 2 years ago.
w3bny
03-03-2004, 08:31 PM
Actually,
Stimpy sits at his place of honor down in the shack. #Many years ago, my X (when she wasnt my X) found me a Stimpy plush. #One with the pull the hairball voice box. #Voice box still works. #He just sits ontop of my work bench down in the basement.
The paxil has kicked in thank you very much. #Pleasant little chirpy-birdies now in my mellon #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
FAIRY GOD PARENTS!!!
WA2ZDY
03-03-2004, 10:39 PM
What's the plural of doofus? Doofi.
What do you have if you have five doofi in one place? Doofive.
(sorry, my 11 yr old came up with it.)
KM5FL
03-03-2004, 10:51 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (w3sy @ Mar. 01 2004,11:49)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if....
You might be a HUGE doofus if you..........[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Have a job so stressful that you feel you must start, or post on......
threads like this one..... #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif # http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif # http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
KM5FL
You might be a doofus if --
You talk with your mouth full.
You lick or noisily suck your fingers at the table.
You think Wheel of Fortune is a challenging game show.
From King Bunny Three Just Looks Zany:
'8. You are male and remove hair from anywhere but face, ears, and nose'
Never swam or did bike races eh?
Whoa, hold the phone, chief. Ear and nose hair can make you lose a bike race??
I know swimmers shave down, but I always thought that was because they were a little.... um... you know....
"NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!"
haw.
w4rot
03-05-2004, 01:54 PM
OK..let's get serious here.
You may be a doofus if you use HotBot to search doofus. Personally I was not to interested in the band "Buttcheek Doofus", but there may be some talent there.
Anyway, here is something there is of little interest to most and cared for by even less.
"Comte DeFeaux, a 12th century Burgundian noble who, as the story goes, was a good-natured oaf who never met a man he didn’t like or trust. Anyway, it seems he was talked into going off on the Crusades by a trusted friend, who proceeded to usurp his title and lands. Upon his return, the Comte happily accepted his fate and took up the position of village idiot. When the story traveled across the channel, DeFeaux was anglicized to Doofus, and the rest is history."
Don't know how true this is, but aside from being totally screwed by his friends, Comte seems to have been a nice guy.
It's Friday, there is sunshine in NC today. Yall have a great one.
w4rot
You MIGHT be a Doofus if ---
You have a big fuzzy cover on your steering wheel.
You play your car stereo so loud, I can hear it a block away when your windows are up and so are mine!
You give your kid some whacked out trendy name.
You and your wife have "separate but equal" last names, then you saddle your kid with BOTH of them, joined by a hyphen.
You use a "hands free" cell phone headset in your car, then use your free hands to work a laptop, paper and pen, etc.
You think there is ANYTHING appealing about Kathie Lee Gifford.
You don't like Howard Stern.
You have a tasteless Vanity Callsign.
You use Hotbot to search "Doofus." (Bet you thought I was ignoring you, huh, ROT? HAW...)
Out.
w4rot
03-05-2004, 09:13 PM
I was about to get me a complex...anyway I'm done doofusing for today. I may doofinate tomorrow, largely depending on the doofinity indexes.
Have a large weekend. Gone to the radio barn...
w4rot
You MIGHT be a doofus if you have The Killer Cold From Hell, but you go to work anyway, and spend most of the day wandering into people's offices and cubicles telling them how bad you feel. Dood, stay home. Or at least stay at your own damn desk, stay outta my face, and stop whining. Better yet, just stay home.
You MIGHT be a doofus if you have ever purchaced a product or service from someone who SPAMMED you.
You MIGHT be a doofus if you are one of those pathetic smokers huddled in front of your office building when it's 33 degrees and raining. You might be a GALACTIC LEVEL DOOFUS if you write angry letters to your local paper defending your "right" to smoke in the workplace.
Haw.
You MIGHT be a doofus if you wear a ballcap and sunglasses in the swimming pool. (That "look" ranks right up there with black socks and sandals.)
You MIGHT be a doofus if you show up for a pickup softball game wearing an Oxford button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather "Docksiders" shoes. (Dood, the polo match is down the road about a mile and a half.)
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif9--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AG4YO @ Mar. 02 2004,22http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif9)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You might be a DOOFUS if:
1. You wear a ball cap backwards.
1a. #Or wear it sideways!
2. You are female and wear "capri pants" waiting for the big flood.
2a. #Or, you wear non-capri pants and they still look like the big flood happened.
3. You have a number "3" on your run down pick-up truck.
3a. #The pick up truck is older then 20 years.
4. You think Glad trash bags are the same as auto glass.
4a. #And, along with the trash bag windows are chained or wire tied trucnks.
5. You drive a BMW.
5a. #You drive any car with an abbreviated name.
6. You like Ralph Nader for President.
6a. #Previously, you voted for Perot.
7. You have "Bible Sayings" bumper stickers on your car.
7a. #And yet you flip the bird to other drivers.
8. You are male and remove hair from anywhere but face, ears, and nose.
8a. #And wear no shirt when cutting the grass, or black socks and wingtips, forcing mothers to bring their children indoors when you are out doing lawnwork.
9. You are a 49ers fan.
9a. #Or a Cardinals fan.
10. You ever bought anything from a telemarketer.
10a. #Or purchased something from a guy at your door wear the merchandise was in the trunk.
11. You ever bought a vacumm cleaner because it had more "AMPS" than a competing brand.
11a. #Guys buy vacuum cleaners to start with!
12. You ever bought a Stereo system based soley on "watts" output.
12a. #Or you installed in car stereo speakers that were home speakers, mounted in your rear window.
13. You have eaten in a McDonalds in the last 5 years.
13a. #Or White Castle. # BURP
14. You are a Technician and want to upgrade, but you're waiting for the rules to change and ax CW testing any day now.
14a. #You already have new QSLs on order marking the future event!
Just thought I would expound on some of these!
Or how about adding:
15. #You have tried to load up inanimate objects with SWRs higher then the meter will read.
16. #Have received, in the past two years, RF burns within the confines of your shack.
17. #Operated mobile high power only to shut down your car on the freeway.
18. #You ask your kid to hand you the remote.
19. #Speaking of remotes, you nearly have a stroke when you want to watch TV and can't locate the remote.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
20. When you sneeze, you turn your head, but covering you mouth is always optional.
Just thought I would take the liberty to add to those excellent topics already identified below.
You're also a Doofus when:
1. You complain at the microwave for taking so long when nuking something for 30 seconds.
2. You walk up to an elevator (going up) whose light is lit and you punch the button again.
3. If the sign says WET PAINT, you try to touch it anyway.
4. You like to walk through the department store and stare at the female manicans.
5. You take a cup of coffee, but leave about a table spoon's worth in the pot at the company coffe maker.
6. You grab the mail when you arrive home from work and head straight for the bathroom.
7. You make noises at the table (either end) and fuss at your kids when they do it.
8. You comment about soap operas on TV but sit and watch Jerry Springer.
9. You make comments about how fat everyone else is, but you are 100 pounds over weight.
K6WXA
03-08-2004, 05:55 PM
You might be a complete friggin' doofus if:
You're an American tourist in Germany, and you walk upto a parked car, the doors of which are stenciled in big block letters:
# # # # # # # # # # #MILITARY POLICE
# # # # # # # # # # # # # U.S. ARMY
# # # # # # # # #FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY
and you say to the driver, "Excuse me, do you speak english?"
...Yep, happened to me.
w5alt
03-08-2004, 11:26 PM
Most American tourists seem to qualify as supreme doofuses. The following are all true.
In Maracaibo, a fellow walks up to me, asks if I'm American, I say yes, and he asks directions, which I of course gave him. Then he asks where I learned my English ...
I was in Mexico City waiting to catch a plane and there was a tour group leaving. The Mexican tour director was asking the tourists what they could improve upon in the future. One over-sized old lady in shorts said "It would be nice if you teach all the people here to speak English so they could understand us better."
In Jakarta an American tourist who stayed in the same hotel as me (not one of the major hotels) said he was not coming back until the people learned how to speak English. As a matter of fact, I never saw him after that ...
In London an older American tourist couple over heard me talking and came up to me to chat. They said how good it was to find someone who really knew how to speak English. Go figure ...
73,
Speaking of tourists, I witnessed an older couple in a department store some time ago, they were speaking german so I listened in a bit. The sales girl, quite attractive, noticed they were standing in front of her counter and also observed they were speaking German. She then proceeded to talk to them, loudly, and slowly..."WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING??"
The older lady answered, "You don't have to shout at us young lady!"
I laughed. It was great!
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">5rr (with my additions)
You're also a Doofus when:
1. #You complain at the microwave for taking so long when nuking something for 30 seconds.
1a. It catches fire because it was not a microwave but a toaster oven.
2. #You walk up to an elevator (going up) whose light is lit and you punch the button again.
2a. Then you punch it every 60ms for the next 5 minutes.
3. #If the sign says WET PAINT, you try to touch it anyway.
3a. Stains on your undies match the wall paint color.
4. #You like to walk through the department store and stare at the female manicans.
4a. You ever tried to look under the skirt of a manakin.
5. #You take a cup of coffee, but leave about a table spoon's worth in the pot at the company coffe maker.
5a. You use half a pack of (pick one)Sweetner, Sugar, and leave the other half of the pack in the container.
6. #You grab the mail when you arrive home from work and head straight for the bathroom.
6a. You come out a few pieces short and the toilet won't flush.
7. #You make noises at the table (either end) and fuss at your kids when they do it.
7a. You have ever allowed your kids to run amok in a restraunt.
8. # You comment about soap operas on TV but sit and watch Jerry Springer.
8a. You think soaps are more important than Jerry Springer.
9. #You make comments about how fat everyone else is, but you are 100 pounds over weight.
9a. Only if the subject of your comment is a guy.
[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
And for the kids:
10. You think your miscreant, ugly, #brainless children are cute when they misbehave in public.
11. You have ever used the word "time out" with your kids outside of sports.
12. If you let a kid of yours out of the house looking like they fell into a tackle box.
13. If your kid burns incense and you don't know it that hides the smell of pot.
14. If you think looking like the Columbine killers is acceptable apparrel for your kid.
15. Anyone, anyplace, any time who has ever used the word "hassle".
Expound it out your tailpipe! # LOL http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
Speaking of tourists and Black socks
You go on vacation and wear knee high black socks, sandals, and have a camcorder and a camera.
I saw some of these in my jaunts through the orient. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
I must admit I do wear a cover indoors sometimes.
And I keep a beater pickup (1980).
Oh, the shame..
I won't try to make my level of doofunisication seem lesser than those who have more check marks on the list than I do.
I will just take my lumps.
You're a doofus if every other word you use is "absolutely", in order to sound more smart.
...if when you smile, you have to jut out all 234 teeth and all the gums you have, like a living skeleton (or like half of the women in the audience of the Oprah show).
...you use terms like "hum dinger", "dad gum it", or "dang".
...you insist on using obscure non-standard phonetics on the air which are confusing and irritating, like "Aaron".
...you think it's cool to act phoney, like the people on the show "friends"
...[related to the above] you think it's REALLY cool to bray out an incredibly loud, phoney, annoying laugh at work every 10 seconds at non-funny comments, so that the office next to you has to close it's doors.
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
AB8RU
05-28-2004, 12:39 AM
Welcome back Steve , I'll add some myself..
You might be a Doofus if..
1 A ) you come from accross the pond asking why should I be speaking english and go on this Loooong soap box of an issue http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif
1 B ) You were just put on the Terrorist Most Wanted List by the FBI .
1 C ) You belong to an organization that Opposes the United States of America.
1 D ) You think Ham Operators are Stuck up and you do not even possess a valid Amateur Radio License just because they refuse to talk to you.
1 E ) You are trying to sell Illeagle Junk on E-Bay.
1 D... was just asked by me Yesterday I told him that maybe getting a Ham license will make you legal.
also Elmering a Trucker who's Retiring to get his License,
thats cool !
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
KM5FL
05-28-2004, 03:12 AM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AB8RU @ May 26 2004,18:39)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Welcome back Steve #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Steve's not back.. This thread is 2 months old.. Steve started it before he "signed off"..
Who's the Doofus?? Naa.. I might get scolded for naming names.. #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif # http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
KM5FL
W0UZR
05-28-2004, 03:42 AM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (w3sy @ Mar. 02 2004,10:49)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if....[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
If you look like this??
http://www.rock103.com/drakeandzeke/dumbass/dumbass-icon-5.gif
P.S. Where in the hill have you been?
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif8--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (WF7I @ May 27 2004,19http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif8)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">...you insist on using obscure non-standard phonetics on the air which are confusing and irritating, like "Aaron".[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Hmmmmm... You mean Nocturnal Urges 4 Goats is not proper phonetics for my call? Well, it might be proper in east TN http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
(A "friend" in east Tennessee actually *used* those phonetics over a crowded repeater the other day) #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif
W0UZR
05-28-2004, 04:11 AM
Would that would be a good way to get his GOAT?? http://chat.qth.com/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif
kg4kww
05-28-2004, 04:26 AM
You MIGHT be a DOOFUS if you think CW testing should be required for HF Phone access!!!! http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
I'm sitting here with my W3SY T-shirt and hat on wondering where he is http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif
kf7qq
05-31-2004, 05:00 PM
welcome back Stevo!!!