You know you are a mainstream American if..

[kc7jty]

1 you know its time to visit the doctor when you see a
pretty, new pill advertised on TV and you want to know
what its for.
2 you think perfume and deodorizer are synonyms.
3 your best friend is your dog/cat, and you enjoy
being with it more than anyone else.
4 your favorite restaurant is the Red Lobster.
5 you can't figure out why you can't get "real" mexican
food in Mexico.
6 you think wine is for women, gays, and skid row bums.
7 your favorite cheese comes in individually wrapped
slices and is the same color as the bus you rode to
school on as a kid.
8 some of the most dreaded words you ever heard were,
(while at a friends for dinner), "I'm sorry but we ran out of
iced tea. You're going to have to drink some fine French
Bordeaux with that prime rib you're having.
9 you "like" lite beer.
10 you are seriously over weight.
11 it takes you a while to figure the price of
something if it doesn't end in .99.
12 you must do the full speed limit while driving to
within at least 50 feet of the red light/stop sign.
13 you think pedestrians having right of way over
motor vehicles is a good idea.
14 you are uncomfortable eating or drinking something if
it doesn't have coloring in it.
15 your best vacation ever was to Disney World.
16 you think people who don't wear their seat belts shouldn't
be allowed to drive.
17 you think Paul Wolfowitz is a breed of dog.
18 you'll eat "french" bread but only if the crust is as soft as
the inside.
19 you gave a master Chinese chef from Kow Loon some
pointers on how to prepare chinese food and told him the
dumplings should be deep fried not steamed. (actually
happened in Alabama)
20 you know the French lack class......they don't add ice to
their cognac when they sip it from a snifter.
21 you think you are doing your neighbor a favor by letting
your dog fertilize his lawn for free.
22 you enjoy a TV program much more when they wiggle the
camera around.
23 you enjoy a good infomercial.
24 you think doing away with the penny and replacing the
dollar bill with a coin are bad ideas.
25 you never use cash....ever.
26 you think the only place a woman should have hair is on
her head.
27 you can't figure which is your favorite TV show, MTV or
WWF.
28 every time you hear the term mad cow you think of your
ex wife.
29 the most attractive women you ever saw would
look so much better with breast implants.
30 in the neighborhood you love the smell of charcoal lighter
fluid smoke and the scent of fabric softener coming out
the dryer vent.
31 any woman "always" looks better in make up.

[w8idb]

# 7 Where do you find red, white and blue cheese?

[w8amd]

You think a political party has "Your" interest at heart. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[kd5sdi]

whenyou travel you make it a point to assert american superiority.

[w8amd]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (w8gas @ Jan. 27 2004,07:57)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"># 7 #Where do you find red, white and blue cheese?[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
If it ain't at WalMart who needs it? #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[k6pme]

How about #32.

You are perfectly healthy and go to any extreme to get the parking spot nearest the store entrance when there are 6 or more open spaces only 30 feet farther away.

[KI4BOO]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (kc7jty @ Jan. 26 2004,20:13)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">16. you think people who don't wear their seat belts shouldn't be allowed to drive.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
I race motorcycles, and I like to drive.

Around here, we judge the good motorcycle riders from the LIDS by the presence of a helmet. A LID always rides without one. If you dont need a helmet or a seat-belt, you aren't fast enough or drive well enough.

[K8YS]

I guess I ain't &quot;typical&quot;....

1) don't do doctors unless I am unconscious or wish I were.
2) perfume gags, deodorizer clears
3) the more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
4) No favorite restaurant
5) ...
6) depends on the wine... too much of it tastes like I'm drinking Tuner Cleaner
7) cheese should not smell it cured in an old boot
8) yep, theres that tuner cleaner again
9) beer --- don't do beer.
10) Yep! That's me - watch your feet.
11) ...
12) when I was 16 up to 41 maybe.
13) So many pedestrians, so little time....
14) I prefer no coloring or sugar added... see #10
15) never been to Disney World, been to Disney LAND
16) stay out of my bedroom, stay out of my car. Don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
17) You mean it/he isn't?
18) The French have yet to get ONE thing right.
19) When in Rome....
20) Yep, French and tuner cleaner again.
21) You met my neighbor!
22) You watch too much kids tv
23) only if it is on the History Channel
24) no, penny good, dollar COIN good
25) Cash with ID Please. Anyone one with CASH is suspect.
26) Did I mention FRENCH?
27) Do they run that on History Channel?
28) Mad cow is result of castrated bull
29) perhaps.
30) ...
31) not always.

[kc9esf]

you think a return to mars trip wont work because mars gravity is so much higher than #earths that we could not get enough fuel


From Andy Rooney of 60 minutes

Scientists have said that it would probably be a one-way trip for whoever made it, because gravity on Mars is so strong that it would be impossible to bring along enough fuel for them to take off and return to Earth.


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories....1.shtml (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/01/22/60minutes/rooney/main595141.shtml)

Geez, doesn't ANYONE check their facts?

[KD7WHQ]

Earth direct to Mars and back, not possible.
Earth to ISS to Mars and back to ISS, then Earth, very doable.
And not because Mars' gravity is higher than ours, it isn't. The problem is getting out of this gravity well, and then out of that one. Fuel weighs, and look at the rocketry it took to get to the moon.
I miss those Apollo missions though.. Spectactular liftoffs!

[kc7jty]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (K8YS @ Jan. 27 2004,09:23)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">7) cheese should not smell it cured in an old boot[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
I've never been off the N American continent. Hope to visit europe someday. I did have the very fortunate opportunity to be able to get very good world class blue cheese for about a year and a half. Was called pergola. Made in Denmark. It was wet, oozing, smelled like toe jams, and was one of my best culinary experiences. I'll never forget it. It was cheap too.
I think the government caught up with the cheese shop that sold it because it dissapeared one day and no one would even own up to ever selling it. The stuff is a controlled substance....just like dope, illegal in the USA.
Our government legislates culinary ignorance and stupidity by pain of litigation. Knowing things like this make it hard sometimes for me to be a poster boy for the ol red white and blue......Pass the chicken weenies please.....and the yellow baby sh*t....oops, I mean mustard.

[N0WVA]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (KI4BOO @ Jan. 27 2004,07:25)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (kc7jty @ Jan. 26 2004,20:13)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">16. you think people who don't wear their seat belts shouldn't be allowed to drive.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
I race motorcycles, and I like to drive.

Around here, we judge the good motorcycle riders from the LIDS by the presence of a helmet. A LID always rides without one. If you dont need a helmet or a seat-belt, you aren't fast enough or drive well enough.[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
If your racing a motorcycle, your kinda pushing the envolope a little anyways, aintchya?

Mad cow disease. One reason to not import foreign dairy products. There was a time when the congress was trying to kill off the American dairy industry and prop up and import all that beautiful foreign stuff. Any body now glad the small family farmer is too &quot;stupid&quot; to quit although he's been loosing money for years? The small family farmer usually isn't importing 89 cows over the Canadian border at a time either. Ours generally born on the farm and stay on the farm, and we don't have any brain tissue to feed the cows anyway. Just home grown hay and grain.
Sorry, different topic. Just a personal issue.
Main stream American if you disagree with the media the majority of the time.
N7SYY

[kc7jty]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N7SYY @ Jan. 27 2004,19:49)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Mad cow disease. One reason to not import foreign dairy products. There was a time when the congress was trying to kill off the American dairy industry and prop up and #import all that beautiful foreign stuff. Any body now glad the small family farmer is too &quot;stupid&quot; to quit although he's been loosing money for years? The small family farmer usually isn't importing 89 cows over the Canadian border at a time either. Ours generally born on the farm and stay on the farm, and we don't have any brain tissue to feed the cows anyway. Just home grown hay and grain.
Sorry, different topic. Just a personal issue.
Main stream American if you disagree with the media the majority of the time.
N7SYY[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
They announced on AGDAY today that the feds have banned the addition of chicken litter (sh*t) and (cow I guess) blood to cattle feed. I can't even comprehend the feeding of chicken crap, even if it is high protein, to cows.
I'd sure like to get some of your beef. The &quot;choice&quot; I've been getting at the local supermarket has been very bland tasting over the last few months.

The railroads in this country were on the verge of extinction until the gvt. passed the staggers act in 1980. If the railroad's competitors had their way back then we wouldn't have any railroads today. All that crap coming in from the pacific rim would be on the nation's highways. There were many in congress who were willing to let the RRs die. I think the government is nuts on a lot of issues but at least we managed to hold onto our rail roads.
I think the best cheese produced in the USA is Maytag blue from Newton, Iowa. Its good but not worth the outrageous price it commands (about $13-$15/lb). Why can't we even have some good soft ripened cheese made from unpasteurized milk? Because the gvt. says its unsafe, but they put the cattle indrustry at risk though because of their laxed restrictions on cattle feed.

As to your last sentence: If you have a brain big enough to comprehend that you are even able to disagree with the media.....once.