View Full Version : Christmas Singalong!
Doodz -- I wrote these last year. I have more..... MFC Everyone!!
Sing to the tune of Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland
In the rain, we’ll go shoppin’.
And the pain won’t be stoppin’.
No parking in sight
My knuckles are white,
Sittin’ in a Christmas traffic jam.
Gone away is my patience.
Here to stay: just frustrations.
We’re stuck in the car,
We won’t get too far.
Sittin’ in a Christmas traffic jam.
Cruising through the parking lot real slow, man,
We see a guy who’s standing by his car.
We’ll say “Are ya leaving?”
He’ll say “No, man! I just came out to smoke this old cigar.”
Later on, we’ll perspire
While we change our flat tire.
The gridlock is tight,
We’ll call it a night.
Sittin’ in a Christmas traffic jam!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(Sing to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
You better stay home.
You better not drive.
You’re lucky if you come through this alive.
AN INCH OF SNOW IS COMING TO TOWN!
Stay off of the road!
Take cover, you fools!
Get back in your bed,
They’re closing the schools!
AN INCH OF SNOW IS COMING TO TOWN!
Let’s buy some toilet paper,
And white bread by the ton.
The stores have all run out of milk
‘Cause the panic has begun.
It’s time to freak out!
There’s no time to lose –
It’s the only event on the TV news.
AN INCH OF SNOW IS COMING TO TOWWWWWWNNNNN!!
Steve, I really wonder if ANYONE from outside the D.C. Metro area is going to understand the humor in your second song ?
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As for the first one, that describes the "Rush Hour" every night on good ole I 270 ! They ought to rename it from "Technical Turnpike" to "Disfunctional Doldrums"
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73 from Jim AG3Y The songs are terrific
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KC1NY
12-16-2003, 09:42 PM
Hey, I loved your second song. And...it's as true up here in Maine as it is down there, unfortunately.
But in Maine, we dont freak out about 1 inch of snow :-)
Steve:
I know Weird Al. Weird Al is a friend of mine. You're no weird al...
It's Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
Now THAT'S a weapon of mass destruction....
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AG3Y @ Dec. 16 2003,14:02)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Steve, I really wonder if ANYONE from outside the D.C. Metro area is going to understand the humor in your second song ?
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As for the first one, that describes the "Rush Hour" every night on good ole I 270 # ! # They ought to rename it from "Technical Turnpike" to "Disfunctional Doldrums"
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif
73 from Jim AG3Y # The songs are terrific
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In Texas, at least here in Fort Worth/Dallas, a snow flake spotted is likely to make the news over an incoming ICBM!
Quote the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" "Weather Radar has spotted a storm front bringing snow to the area, but it has also spotted an incoming line of ICBMs, so I wouldn't sweat the snow ! "
As close as I can remember George Carlin's famous routine!
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
73 from Jim AG3Y
ai4ep
12-16-2003, 11:23 PM
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif in north alabama just mention on the tv that there is apossibility of slush / snow.... milk is gone...bread is gone...beer stores get attacked...cigarettes are gone... http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
Yeah, I dig Weird Al Yankovic. That's not his real name. It's really Bizarre Bobby Bernstein.
The TV news in Baltimore goes absolutely apespit when a little snow comes down. You have the weather dweeb with the map and the Doppler radar, you have the "on the spot reporters" in fuzzy hats and boots posing on the corner with snow coming down in the background. You have live interviews with the 2-digit IQ crowd at the supermarket, with baskets full of milk, TP, bread, and Godknowswhat. You have the interviews with the barely coherent snowplow drivers.... The city shuts down. Hell, even the muggers and carjackers go into hiding!
It's just as well. They can't drive in the snow here.
DC drivers are even WORSE in the snow.
COMING TOMORROW: "Beernuts (roasted) on an open bar..."
What means, this "snow?"
N8CPA
12-17-2003, 12:49 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AG3Y @ Dec. 16 2003,15:23)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Quote the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" #"Weather Radar has spotted a storm front bringing snow to the area, but it has also spotted an incoming line of ICBMs, so I wouldn't sweat the snow ! #" #
As close as I can remember George Carlin's famous routine!
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
73 from Jim AG3Y[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
"...here comes a Candadian low, not to be confused with a Mexican High..."
"Forecast for tonight, dark! With scattered light by morning, man. And now Biff Barf with sports. Take it, Biff.."
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kd5sdi
12-17-2003, 01:24 PM
A dude I know sent me this link http://load.pquinn.com/binaries/fries/ you might check it out.
Gives me the shivers every time I remember the hat.
KC7ATO
12-17-2003, 02:40 PM
The US FDA has issued an advisory: "INJESTION OF YELLOW SNOW CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH", we strongly advise against ever eating "YELLOW SNOW"! http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif
In Baltimore we are instituting the "Bread Milk Toilet Paper Index". #It's like the wind chill. #How many loaves, quarts, and rolls a snowstorm requires.
A snow flurries = an index of 3 (1 loaf, 1 quart, 1 roll)
1-5 inches of snow = an index of 6 (2 loaves, 2 quarts, 2 rolls)
6 - 10 inches = an index of 9 ( 3 loaves, 3 quarts, 3 rolls)
12 of more inches = off the scale, call out the National Guard, the "White Death" has arrived!
How To Drive In the Snow (Baltimore Style) -
1) Clear a Frisbee <tm> sized area of snow off your windshield (driver's side only). Leave the rest of the windows, roof, hood, etc covered in snow.
2) Do a quick checklist of your vehicle: Rear-wheel-only drive? Check! Bald tires? Check! Defroster broken? Check! Car in poor repair, and likely to stall, and maybe not restart? Check and double check! You are ready to roll!
3) For God's sake, DO NOT turn on your headlights. (Probably still snow covered anyway. See #1 above.) YOU can see just fine without them, thank you. Think CONSERVATION. We're saving some electricity here, right?
4) Choose your driving strategy: Either go too fast and wipe out, causing others to wipe out as well, or ride the hell out of your brakes, causing the people behind you to wipe out. Feel free to alternate strategies until SOMEBODY wipes out.
5) When changing lanes on a snowy highway, DO NOT use turn signals. That wastes time and effort. You wanna change lanes? As the Nike commercial suggests, Just Do It <tm>.
6) If you find yourself in a location where you are not getting any traction, and thus not moving in a forward direction, try gunning the engine. If your tires are not smoking and going "wwwrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," you are not gunning it hard enough. Floor that baby!
7) If the going gets rough, or if you are simply not "going" any more, stop wherever you are (literally), kill the engine, and abandon the car. Greenwood's garage is in the Yellow Pages. You can pick your car up there in the Spring.
WELCOME TO BAWLAMMER, HON!!
Out.
N7CPC
12-17-2003, 06:44 PM
Now that I live on the Left Coast, I keep hearing one over and over again. The one about gay clothes, er sumpn like that......Fa la la and a toodloo!
My favorite part of the routine ( Hippie dippy Weatherman ) is , " Here is the Surf forcast . . . West Coast , Good ! East Coast , Good ! Kansas City Kansas, Bad. . .VERY Baaad ! "
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73 from Jim AG3Y
N0KLT
12-17-2003, 10:31 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AG3Y @ Dec. 17 2003,12:48)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">My favorite part of the routine ( Hippie dippy Weatherman ) is , " Here is the Surf forcast . . . West Coast , Good ! #East Coast , Good ! #Kansas City Kansas, Bad. . .VERY Baaad ! "
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
73 from Jim AG3Y[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
For me it was the sportscasts, as in now for some scores :
7 - 2
4 - 1
6 - 5
and some part scores just in:
9 -
5 -
11 -
Great routines and great comedian, my kind of warped mind.
73
Gary NØKLT
N8CPA
12-19-2003, 05:41 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N0KLT @ Dec. 17 2003,15:31)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (AG3Y @ Dec. 17 2003,12:48)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">My favorite part of the routine ( Hippie dippy Weatherman ) is , " Here is the Surf forcast . . . West Coast , Good ! #East Coast , Good ! #Kansas City Kansas, Bad. . .VERY Baaad ! "
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
73 from Jim AG3Y[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
For me it was the sportscasts, as in now for some scores :
7 - 2
4 - 1
6 - 5
and some part scores just in:
9 -
5 -
11 -
Great routines and great comedian, my kind of warped mind.
73
Gary NØKLT[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
Don't forget
"Georgetown 60, MIT 2 to the eight power"
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