WA6MHZ
01-18-2009, 03:42 AM
Everyone knows California is broke and the Senate is at an impass with Ahnold. He demands pork cuts, and they won't budge an inch. They want to keep their special projects, like the study on whether HAPPY COWS really do produce better tasting milk. All the people expecting Tax Refunds have been told they will get IOUs now instead. Ahnold was perplexed. There just must be SOME way to get the money. He pondered it as he drove home on the freeway that night, and noticed everyone going 75 and 80.
"HMMMM, I haave an IDEA!!!!!"
The next morning, the CHP (California Highway Patrol) commissioner was summoned to Ahnolds office.
"Here is the deal...." The Governator spoke
"I want you to TICKET every motorist going over 70 on all the state Freeways!"
The Commissioner was SHOCKED!!
"But Governator, even our Squad cars don't go that slow!!!!!!"
Ahnold pounded his fist on the desk in anger.
"DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! Or I will find someone who will!!!!"
Today was the Chino Hills Swapmeet, up near Riverside, and it is about 120 miles away. I got up at 3AM as I knew it started LONG before the advertised start time of 6:30 AM. I might miss something RARE!!
As I whizzed down the freeway, I noticed a lot of Bear.
"That's STRANGE! Most Bear are still snoozing this time in the morning!!"
I arrived without a problem, and had a good time, but failed to find any treasures. RATS!!! So it was time to head on back.
The I-15 looked like normal traffic, but I soon saw it was bunching up. WHY? It was soon evident. There were Smokey Bears everywhere. Black and White cars, Stealth all white cars and loads of Motorcycle riding Bear!
Most had caught their prey and were devouring the motorists Wallet, so I had to slow down from my usual 85 MPH to around 82. I kept a constant lookout on what was coming up from behind, and what was going on on the Freeway on ramps.
As I neared Temecula, I suddenly SAW a bear moving up in the pack behind me. I JERKED the wheel to the right and took the off ramp. Once at the bottom of the hill, I waited through the light and then proceeded up the on ramp. There, not far down the road, was that BEAR, Sinking his teeth into some TERRORIZED, Tear ridden motorist in a Toyota!!! He must have been doing 72!!!!
Besides Bear, the Freeway was littered with pairs of cars involved in accidents. One motorist, upon seeing Mister Smokey, slammed on his brakes and the car behind him piled into him. Tow Trucks were doing a BANNER DAY today!
Sweating and drained, I made it back to El Cajon unscathed, but then I was required to make a trip up the I-5 to Carlsbad a little bit later. Lot of gas being used today!
The situation was the same on the I-5. More Bear, lots of crashes, motorists were in a frenzy like they had just tried to cross a river full of bloodthirsty PIRANAH!!!!
PHEW!!!!!!! Not safe to drive! Maybe I ought to take the city streets!
..........................
The following Tuesday, the CHP Commissioner burst in to Ahnolds office sporting a full wheelbarrow of money. HE was smiling EAR TO EAR!!!
"Here is this weekend's TAKE, Governator!"
The Governators Eyes lit up and he began to laugh!
"YOU DID IT!!! You really did!!!!!!!!!"
He rushed over and sunk his hands into the pile of money and tossed it into the air. The two danced around the room for quite some time singing a poor version of "WE ARE IN THE MONEY!!!!!!!"
After the Commissioner left, Ahnold dialed up the Attorney General.
"You know that budget Crisis?.........."
Ahnold continued to laugh.
"NOTTA PROBLEM ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!"
Wonder what the freeway will be like tomorrow?
"HMMMM, I haave an IDEA!!!!!"
The next morning, the CHP (California Highway Patrol) commissioner was summoned to Ahnolds office.
"Here is the deal...." The Governator spoke
"I want you to TICKET every motorist going over 70 on all the state Freeways!"
The Commissioner was SHOCKED!!
"But Governator, even our Squad cars don't go that slow!!!!!!"
Ahnold pounded his fist on the desk in anger.
"DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! Or I will find someone who will!!!!"
Today was the Chino Hills Swapmeet, up near Riverside, and it is about 120 miles away. I got up at 3AM as I knew it started LONG before the advertised start time of 6:30 AM. I might miss something RARE!!
As I whizzed down the freeway, I noticed a lot of Bear.
"That's STRANGE! Most Bear are still snoozing this time in the morning!!"
I arrived without a problem, and had a good time, but failed to find any treasures. RATS!!! So it was time to head on back.
The I-15 looked like normal traffic, but I soon saw it was bunching up. WHY? It was soon evident. There were Smokey Bears everywhere. Black and White cars, Stealth all white cars and loads of Motorcycle riding Bear!
Most had caught their prey and were devouring the motorists Wallet, so I had to slow down from my usual 85 MPH to around 82. I kept a constant lookout on what was coming up from behind, and what was going on on the Freeway on ramps.
As I neared Temecula, I suddenly SAW a bear moving up in the pack behind me. I JERKED the wheel to the right and took the off ramp. Once at the bottom of the hill, I waited through the light and then proceeded up the on ramp. There, not far down the road, was that BEAR, Sinking his teeth into some TERRORIZED, Tear ridden motorist in a Toyota!!! He must have been doing 72!!!!
Besides Bear, the Freeway was littered with pairs of cars involved in accidents. One motorist, upon seeing Mister Smokey, slammed on his brakes and the car behind him piled into him. Tow Trucks were doing a BANNER DAY today!
Sweating and drained, I made it back to El Cajon unscathed, but then I was required to make a trip up the I-5 to Carlsbad a little bit later. Lot of gas being used today!
The situation was the same on the I-5. More Bear, lots of crashes, motorists were in a frenzy like they had just tried to cross a river full of bloodthirsty PIRANAH!!!!
PHEW!!!!!!! Not safe to drive! Maybe I ought to take the city streets!
..........................
The following Tuesday, the CHP Commissioner burst in to Ahnolds office sporting a full wheelbarrow of money. HE was smiling EAR TO EAR!!!
"Here is this weekend's TAKE, Governator!"
The Governators Eyes lit up and he began to laugh!
"YOU DID IT!!! You really did!!!!!!!!!"
He rushed over and sunk his hands into the pile of money and tossed it into the air. The two danced around the room for quite some time singing a poor version of "WE ARE IN THE MONEY!!!!!!!"
After the Commissioner left, Ahnold dialed up the Attorney General.
"You know that budget Crisis?.........."
Ahnold continued to laugh.
"NOTTA PROBLEM ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!"
Wonder what the freeway will be like tomorrow?
