Amature Radio Elmer Laws

[KC0OFZ]

This one should be fun, at least it is meant to be http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif. #I would like to start a discussion and get a list generated of different "Elmer Laws" #(related to Murphy, I think they are brothers)

1. How well an antenna will perform is inversely porportional to the weather in which it was installed.

2. #The best propogation will be blessed upon the operator with the largest amp.

These are the two laws I will post to get the ball rolling.

P.S. no insult to Elmer intended, this is just meant to be fun and enjoyable http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Have fun and 73
KC0OFZ

[w3sy]

3. After you've done your neatest EVER, most precise job of soldering on a PL-259, you will discover that you forgot to first slip the collar over the coax.

[N7CPC]

4. After de-soldering and re-soldering the above mentioned PL-259, you will realize you have still not sliped the collar over the coax.

5. No matter how carefully planed, the above mentioned coax will be three inches too short.

73

[kc4zgp]

6. The bigger the antenna, the more the neighbors like you.

[ae4fa]

7. No good deed goes unpunished.

Not restricted to any facet of life - applies to all equally.

73, Bob

[N0WVA]

8.The "intermittant receive problem" only happens when the cover is on the radio and in operating position. 73, Doug

[w5alt]

9. After you've checked 4 times to make sure you've spelled "Amateur" correct, it starts to look wrong, so you change it to "Amature" or something ...

[n0xu]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (N7CPC @ Dec. 01 2002,11:28)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">4. After de-soldering and re-soldering the above mentioned PL-259, you will realize you have still not sliped the collar over the coax.

5. No matter how carefully planed, the above mentioned coax will be three inches too short.

73[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
&quot;Dagumit! I cut it twice and its still too short!!!

[kc4zgp]

10. No matter how homebrewed the station is, a liberal will find way to tax it.

[ai4ep]

the batteries on your h - t will always go dead just when you need the radio the most. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif ... kd4amg

[KA8NCR]

The strength and duration of a band-opening is inversely proportional to the distance between you and your radio.

[K0YNE]

You cut and erect a dipole from the 468 formula and you still need to cut 3 feet from each end. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[VA7KBH]

No matter how carefully you build the coathanger yagi for the 2m rig, and no matter how carefully you carry it while foxhunting, as soon as you try to TX with it you'll be holding the driven element.

[w3sy]

14. The weaker the station you are trying to copy, the more likely you will be clobbered with off-frequency splatter and &quot;buckshot.&quot;

(By the way -- my new name for this hi-fi SSB stuff: Single Wideband. Haw.)

[N9WOS]

15 You can set there and listen to a DX station
for thirty minutes with his signal pegging your meter.

When the turn for your call area comes, the band
will fade so bad you won't even hear him make the call.

(Dag namit.... I would of had K9V in the bag on 10m, but that rule got me again!http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[N7CPC]

Upper wide-band or lower wide-band? Or can you tell?

73

[w3sy]

Makes no difference. You can practically copy 'em with the BFO off. HAW!

[wb6bcn]

You complete the repair, reassemble it complerely, to discover the internal fuse is lying on the work bench.

You aren't paying attention, solder the electrolytic in backwards and find out when it explodes.

[N0PU]

The rarity of the DX station is indirectly proportional to the fullness of your bladder.

or did I say that backwards... I GOTTA get some sleep...

Harry N0PU

[k3sam]

I've yet to see anyone post their Elmer License Number yet ?

-Sam

[ka4geh]

When your power glitches and surges, the most expensive rig online at the time will self-destruct to protect the fuse.

[kf4lne]

The brand new RS rig you just bought on sale doesent work and was discontinued last month, and it was the last one within a 600 mile radius (yep, happened to me once)

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (kf4lne @ Feb. 21 2003,16:31)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">The brand new RS rig you just bought on sale doesent work and was discontinued last month, and it was the last one within a 600 mile radius (yep, happened to me once)[/QUOTE]<span id='postcolor'>
The post you make on QRZ that was supposed to be funny, instead, shows everybody you're foolish enough to have considered buying ham gear from RS.

Buying ham equipment from RS is like buying fine crystal from KMart. Those who know what they're doing, don't make the attempt....

MB, who also foolishly bought from RS - an HTX202, and I was foolish enough to believe the old wives' tale that it was manufactured by Icom. It wasn't and the reliability proves that...

PL259... No matter WHAT You do... you will finish the job and THEN notice that you slipped the shell ontothe cable.. BUT IT IS BACKWARDS!

heh

Anyone got a black-black-black non-inductive 1% 100 watt resistor? Cheap?? I need one for a 3KV DC circuit.

[kk4ken]

No matter how many times you scan through the band during an opening, you will never hear any activity until you get up to leave the shack for something very important. Subcorrelary (sp?): This will not apply if you are leaving the shack just to get the newspaper because you are bored of listening to nothing on the rig.

KK4KEN

you have finally made this contact after ALONG time waiting .. your call area comes up and are asked to repeat your call phonetically over a few times and find yourself thinking of different words each time you are repeating, until you realize the phonetic words you are now using don't exist or shouldn't be used???