View Full Version : World History 101
kg4kww
05-30-2008, 12:14 AM
For those of you who missed this in World History 101 here is a condensed version. Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.
These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, golfers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.
It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above
N4VGB
05-30-2008, 12:22 AM
Hmmmm, sounds close to the truth! ;)
ad5mb
05-30-2008, 12:44 AM
Time to dust this moldy oldy off, again...
http://kirktoons.com/october_2004/images/Catsanddogs.jpg
kg4kww
05-30-2008, 05:34 PM
Notice, the libs want no part of this thread. :D
Yep, it is the truth.
That cartoon is funny, except it is wrong.
Conservatives don't travel, liberals do.
To a conservative there is no better place than where it is right now, so why travel?
And when forced to travel it does its best to bring its location and customs with it, completely ignoring the fact that it is in another country and getting mad when its hosts don't speak its language (because of course the conservatives language is obviously the best because they themselves speak it). When the conservative returns home it loudly proclaims its bit of turf to be the best in the world and the country that it visited to be primitive, overtaxed, rude or whatever else comes to mind as a result of the conservatives inability to actually communicate or understand that it in fact was the guest and not the other way around.
On the other hand to a liberal the other place HAS to be better than the hole it currently lives in so it will go out of its way to verify this and actually travel to the place it is contemplating. When it arrives the liberal tries to assimilate as best it can and speak as much of the language as it currently has mastered (usually it will actually go out of its way to learn some conversational whatever before actually taking the trip). Sometimes it is not true that the place visited is better, and in most cases the liberal will gladly admit this to be the case.
But sometimes it is true and the liberal then attempts to bring this to the attention of the general populace surrounding it.
This is a sore spot with conservative because no place can be better than where they are right this moment so an argument ensues, and after the facts have been presented (usually by the liberal since conservative are short on actual fact) the name calling begins and the discussion devolves into a fact less void of meaningless taunt and counter taunt until the conservative declares victory, having buried the original idea beneath a steamy load of misdirection and misinformation.
This is far closer to the truth than the views presented above.
Have a nice weekend, I know I will (spending my tax relief money on a deserving country over in Europe as I am :D).
N4VGB
05-30-2008, 06:22 PM
I gotta give Todd credit, nobody works harder to convince Americans that they live in a dung hole. If the EU ain't paying the boy a salary, they should be ashamed. :D
I gotta give Todd credit, nobody works harder to convince Americans that they live in a dung hole. If the EU ain't paying the boy a salary, they should be ashamed. :D
That didn't take long to prove the premise correct.
Viola! A perfect example of a steamy load of misdirection and misinformation presented to you by a conservative.
That didn't take long to prove the premise correct.
Viola! A perfect example of a steamy load of misdirection and misinformation presented to you by a conservative.
Did anyone but me notice that Dilmus spelt bakkards is Sum Lid?
N4VGB
05-30-2008, 06:56 PM
Did anyone but me notice that Dilmus spelt bakkards is Sum Lid?
Pathetic, even for you. :p
N9MOQ
05-30-2008, 07:11 PM
. .
ad5mb
05-30-2008, 07:12 PM
On the other hand to a liberal the other place HAS to be better than the hole it currently lives in so it will go out of its way to verify this and actually travel to the place it is contemplating.
Make that: The hole it has its head in.
In Re the rest of that post: Tell me where I have been, what I have done, what I do and where I do it...
No, wait. You can't. You just make up "facts" to support your beliefs. Then you act on the facts you make up.
It has a name, you know...
Schizophrenia.
Make that: The hole it has its head in.
In Re the rest of that post: Tell me where I have been, what I have done, what I do and where I do it...
No, wait. You can't. You just make up "facts" to support your beliefs. Then you act on the facts you make up.
It has a name, you know...
Schizophrenia.
Things are a little tough right now for conservatives with the advent of McClellan coming out and stating that indeed, all these lines we have been getting from the Bush Administration are lies. I can understand that.
Boys. We need to go easy on them for awhile. They have to assimilate that they know nothing more than lies for now and it has them on edge.
All these poor people have been duped and they know it now.
Welcome to our group who have known these were all lies from the start.
All are welcome to join.
kg4kww
05-30-2008, 08:07 PM
conservatives will keep your OL from having to wear a burka.
conservatives will keep your OL from having to wear a burka.
http://thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/lauramosque2.JPG
She's not my OL, OM.
That is disgusting.
Make that: The hole it has its head in.
In Re the rest of that post: Tell me where I have been, what I have done, what I do and where I do it...
No, wait. You can't. You just make up "facts" to support your beliefs. Then you act on the facts you make up.
It has a name, you know...
Schizophrenia.
And another excellent example is provided by the conservatives.
Any more examples?
N4VGB
05-30-2008, 11:29 PM
And another excellent example is provided by the conservatives.
Any more examples?
So many women in my neighborhood would look better in a burqa that I'm not totally against the idea! :D
So many women in my neighborhood would look better in a burqa that I'm not totally against the idea! :D
DOH! Ouch!! :p:p:p
I thought that was just Texas with that problem... :D
N4VGB
05-31-2008, 12:15 AM
DOH! Ouch!! :p:p:p
I thought that was just Texas with that problem... :D
Guess again on that one. I nearly went blind in Dallas a few years back. Easily contends with FL & CA on very nice female scenery. :)
K5BAQ
05-31-2008, 02:34 AM
Hay kg4kww I agree with your History 101. Great way to explane why and where we are today. The Dogs and Cats have it right also.
vergessen zee nicht Pips Priller
k5baq
KC9IUX
05-31-2008, 03:02 AM
KV1M, I disagree with the travel bit.
I have built many second houses for those from a nearby urban area, in areas that are rural and lakeside, and politics don't matter.
They infect the new area with living styles that the original inhabitants found distasteful in the first place, hence the location of their homes.
KC7YPJ
05-31-2008, 05:19 AM
I also disagree with the travel/relocate bit.
over the last 15 years I have witnessed the influx of a very large number of california liberals.
These people moved here because they were "sick of what there home had turned into",
these same people have since made it there mission in life to edumacate us backwards people to the error of our ways
and done everything in there power to change the lifestyle and values here to something that more resembles there old home,
you know, the place they were sick of in the first place.
I am here because I found a place that I liked (born here, lived many other places, came home), a place that was just fine the way it was.
I don't try to change the local way of doing things to suite my tastes, I found an area that suited my tastes and stayed.
The point being that at least in my personal experience conservatives tend to pick a place that fits them,
a place where they can blend in with little effort and take it easy.
Liberals tend to move to an area and relentlessly mold it to there standards and value's.
Then they get pissed off about how crappy the place turned out and move elsewhere,
leaving the original inhabitants to deal with the mess.
just a personal observation and I'm sure someone will edumacate me as to the many ways my observation is wrong.
Local travel patterns aren't what I was talking about, but on a local level I've noticed the effect still holds.
Conservatives tend to stay in their original communities and liberals move around.
I am at a loss to explain it but it is there for all to see.
Perhaps conservatives are reluctant to accept change so a changing environment upsets them?
KV1M, I disagree with the travel bit.
I have built many second houses for those from a nearby urban area, in areas that are rural and lakeside, and politics don't matter.
They infect the new area with living styles that the original inhabitants found distasteful in the first place, hence the location of their homes.
Spoken like a true conservative with words such as infect and distasteful to describe cultures dissimilar to your own.
Any more examples?
kg4kww
06-01-2008, 03:57 AM
N9XR The First Isn't wearing a burka, she's got on a scarf. There's a difference.
If you read the text of the topic on page1 you would know that it speaks the truth.
N4VGB
06-01-2008, 04:02 AM
N9XR The First Isn't wearing a burka, she's got on a scarf. There's a difference.
If you read the text of the topic on page1 you would know that it speaks the truth.
Scarves are OK for the decent looking ladies, burqas would be better for some. :D
N4VGB
06-01-2008, 04:15 AM
Perhaps conservatives are reluctant to accept change so a changing environment upsets them?
Perhaps conservatives don't lose their jobs as often as left wingers? :rolleyes:
Perhaps conservatives maintain their homes and neighborhoods better than left wingers and see no reason to move? Strange how many new neighborhoods turn into slums, in so few years? :rolleyes:
Perhaps conservatives stay "on top" of their state and local governments, avoiding freedom robbing laws/regulations and avoiding crushing tax burdens? :rolleyes:
Many possibilities indeed. :D:D:D