View Full Version : Hillbillyonics
With all the CB threads that have been showing up lately I thought it might be useful to have an official HILLBILLYONICS translation thread.
So here's the list I have complied so far, Please feel free to add any that are missing
AGEN - against
AHR - hour
AHWNT - aunt
AIG - egg
AINTS - ants
ARN - iron
ARTHURITIS - arthritis
ARY - not any
BARREED - borrowed
BATTREE - battery
BOB WARR - barbed wire
BORNED - born
Breeches - a pair of pants
BRUNG - brought
BUB - bulb
CHEER - chair
CHOIRPRACTOR - chiropracter
CO COLA - Coca Cola
COME AND GO WITH US - goodbye
CRACK THE WINDOW - open the window
CUT THE LIGHT ON - turn on the light
CUTTIN UP - being comedic
CUZINTS - cousins
DAINTZ - dance
DECORATION DAY - Memorial Day
DEPPITY - deputy
DUBYA - W
EXTRY - extra
FANGER - finger
FAR - fire
FARN - foreign
FLARE - flower
FLUSTERED - frustrated
FUNNY TURNED - unusual/strange
HAINT - ghost
HARD - hired
HEARED - heard
HEP - help
HESH UP - be quiet
HOW DO - hello
I OWNT CURE - yes, I would like some
IFFEN - if
IGNERT - ignorant
IZZAHSO - is that so
JU HERE - did you here
KIN - relatives
LAIG - leg
LIEBURY - library
MAD AS FAR - really upset
MAMAW - grandmother
MEEMAW - great grandmother
MEER - mirror
MESS - a lot
MISRUS - Mrs.
MUNTS - months
NAR - narrow
NARY - not a one
NECKKID - naked
OLDTIMER'S - Alzheimer's
PACIFIC - specific
PANK - pink
PAPAW - grandfather
PEAKID - pale/sickly
PEEPAW - great grandfather
PERT NEAR - very close
PETERED OUT - exhausted
PLAIN SPOKUN - honest/genuine
POKE - bag
POLECAT - skunk
PONY ACK - Pontiac
PURDY - pretty
RANCH - wrench
RANG - ring
RECKON - guess
RICHEER - right here
RINCH - rinse
RETARD - retired
ROONT - ruined
SALARY - celery
SHORE - sure
SHURF - sheriff
SIMLER - similar
SKEERED - scared
SKOO - school
SMACK DAB - in middle of
SMARTS - hurts
STROLLOPIN - out running around
SUGAR - kiss
SUMBITCH - $%&#$
SWEET MILK - whole milk
TAR - tire
TARD - tired
TATERS - potatoes
THANKS - thinks
THAR - there
THARS - theirs
THEM THAR - those
THO - throw
UNGYUN - onion
WARTER - water
WHOOP - spank
WORSH - wash
WRASTLIN - wrestling
YONDER - that way
YUNG UNS - children
YORE IN - yours
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 01:34 PM
I don't have time to add to this. I'm coming up with my list of Greek-American words and phrases.
I don't have time to add to this. I'm coming up with my list of Greek-American words and phrases.
Considering that a good chunk of the English language is based on Greek you might have a hard time but good luck anyways ??
While your doing your research here is a bit of Hillbilly humor to start your day.
Three women, two younger, and one Hillbilly senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at her questioningly. “That was my pager,” she said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”
The older Hillbilly woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.
The older Hillbilly woman finally said, “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!!”
kc9jwa
03-22-2008, 04:42 PM
Well, GET-er-done, lol i like that one for larry the cable guy. Ok i usally also have some of my own form of words, Pops... father, Waz.... was, Injunbilly...... indian hillbilly. I'm native american but for awhile i thought i was part hillbilly.....:D. But i had a few hillbilly friends i love the accents.:):D
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 06:10 PM
Considering that a good chunk of the English language is based on Greek you might have a hard time but good luck anyways ??
While your doing your research here is a bit of Hillbilly humor to start your day.
Three women, two younger, and one Greek-American senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at her questioningly. “That was my pager,” she said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”
The older Grreek-American woman felt very low-tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.
The older Greek-American woman finally said, “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!!”
Fixed that for you.
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 06:17 PM
If we are going to marginalize an entire group of Americans based on negative stereotypes, I'm wondering if the mods will allow some jokes about the Polish being stupid? Can I drop the "N" bomb and make fun of black people here too? Just asking what the standard is here. Please clarify.
wb5ydk
03-22-2008, 07:22 PM
Anybody remember the old National Lampoon spoof documentary, on the Hillbillies and their migration from Europe to the New World?
Audio here on NPR's "All Things Considered" clip: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1149146
BTW, the narrator does a pretty good imitation of Gregory Peck.
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 07:53 PM
Anybody remember the old National Lampoon spoof documentary, on the Hillbillies and their migration from Europe to the New World?
Audio here on NPR's "All Things Considered" clip: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1149146
BTW, the narrator does a pretty good imitation of Gregory Peck.
And the reason NPR did that was because of the TV show that was planned.
"This parody is being aired because CBS-TV is planning a reality show based on the premise of the 1960s sitcom The Beverly Hillbillies." From NPR's website.
People in Appalachia were up in arms over the show, which planned to take a poor family out of Appalachia and put them in Beverly Hills TO MAKE FUN OF THEM. Only someone with a room temperature IQ can't see why this is wrong, and I'm not talking about offended sensibilities or political correctness.
Here's a Google search of " Appalachia negative stereotypes" (http://www.google.com/search?q=Appalachia+negative+stereotypes&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS254US254)
If we are going to marginalize an entire group of Americans based on negative stereotypes, I'm wondering if the mods will allow some jokes about the Polish being stupid? Can I drop the "N" bomb and make fun of black people here too? Just asking what the standard is here. Please clarify.
Your kidding right ?? My post was not meant to demean anyone. Shezz some people are way to sensitive.
I'm an official honorary hillbilly so I can make as much fun of rednecks and hillbilly's as I wana. Besides your gonna feel really stupid when you find out where I got that list and most of my Hillbilly and Redneck jokes.. I spent the better part of 8 years now travailing with a national BBQ team we been competing in competitions all around the country. Now It don't get no more Redneck then a BBQ cook off, These guys are always cuttin up makin fun of their own kin, so why in tarnation are you getting your panties in a bunch.. lighten up and laugh a bit..
Heres one to get you started
Things Rednecks/Hillbillies Will Never Say!!!
I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
Wrestling's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my gut is too big?
I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, we don't need another dog.
Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
You ALL.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
kf5er
03-22-2008, 09:59 PM
Hey! I'm a transplanted cajun and semi redneck..
Hell, thats better than a plain old hillbilly.
I'm ready to move to Beverly Hills when they call.
Will then let me have Elly Mae?
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 10:22 PM
Your kidding right ?? My post was not meant to demean anyone.
I'm an official honorary hillbilly so I can make as much fun of rednecks and hillbilly's as I wana.
Separate facilities in the South weren't meant to demean black people either.
Your post is without a doubt the most ignorant and bigoted post I've ever seen on QRZ.
"Official honorary hillibilly"?????? I guess you got that right after you finished showing all the old time hams how to fix their rigs... :rolleyes: No, actually you can't "make as much fun of rednecks and hillbilly's" as you want. It's like Don Imus found out with his cracks about those girls on Rutger's baskeball team.
Anyone who thinks promoting negative stereotypes of other Americans is funny is an idiot.
You are a bigot for posting that.
WA4TM
03-22-2008, 10:22 PM
:D :D Watch it, Bub!!!!! :D :D
I'm from SE Tennessee and I learned a few new ones from that first post!!!!!
By the way,, funny stuff.... :D I know I am a dumb a$$ hillbilly and I am proud of it!! :D
WA4TM
03-22-2008, 11:34 PM
Oh well, another thread shot to h*ll :confused:
I was thinking this might be a fun thread, why do they ALL have to end up in a fight???
Ok, here is one for the other side!! :D What is the difference in a yankee and a da*n yankee??
Yankee comes down south to visit, then goes home. A da*n yankee comes to stay!! :D
All in jest fellas!!!!!! Lets have some fun...
KE7JFA
03-22-2008, 11:38 PM
Mash - Pressing Something Like A Button On The Telephone.
WA4TM
03-22-2008, 11:39 PM
Mash - Pressing Something Like A Button On The Telephone.
Huh... Thought that was a TV show!!! :D
N4AUD
03-22-2008, 11:56 PM
Oh well, another thread shot to h*ll :confused:
I was thinking this might be a fun thread, why do they ALL have to end up in a fight???
Ok, here is one for the other side!! :D What is the difference in a yankee and a da*n yankee??
Yankee comes down south to visit, then goes home. A da*n yankee comes to stay!! :D
All in jest fellas!!!!!! Lets have some fun...
Sorry. I have no intention of posting in this thread again.
WA4TM
03-23-2008, 12:01 AM
Well, I suppose I am too stupid to be high brow and get pissed about this... So do you think I should ask to be banned from this site? Or should I just log out and become a hermit?
GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N4AUD
03-23-2008, 12:08 AM
Well, I suppose I am too stupid to be high brow and get pissed about this... So do you think I should ask to be banned from this site? Or should I just log out and become a hermit?
GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just said I was sorry and had no intention of posting in this thread again- which I've just done-
Oh well, another thread shot to h*ll :confused:
I was thinking this might be a fun thread, why do they ALL have to end up in a fight???
Ok, here is one for the other side!! :D What is the difference in a yankee and a da*n yankee??
Yankee comes down south to visit, then goes home. A da*n yankee comes to stay!! :D
All in jest fellas!!!!!! Lets have some fun...
Heck I don't get it ether, I saw a tag line that said something to the effect (For a hobby based around communication why are so many hams so antisocial)
Anyhow I just thought this would just be a fun thread, it could have just as easly been call Redneckonics. But I did not want to offend Jeff Foxworthy
Ok here is the story behind the term hillbillyonics, I'ts a phrase I came up with a long time ago when I was trying to describe CB slang. I never originally intended it to wind up as it did. The guys on the National BBQ circuit heard me use it and that's all she wrote.. I don't understand how anyone could be upset by it as most of the material was contributed by a bunch of rednecks and hillbilly's killin time after a cook off..
Very little of this is mine its all been around a long time..
Here's another one I remember hearing
The Hillbilly Oil Change Checklist
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss and complain.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Test drive car
41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
42. Car gets impounded.
43. Make bail; get car from impound yard.
Money Spent:
$50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
Total: $1337
WA4TM
03-23-2008, 12:15 AM
I could be wrong, but if we can't laugh at ourselves, who will we laugh at? If we laugh at the other guy, we might get our butts whupped!!!!
Oh well, I am getting off here and go back to the radio where I can have a little fun...... :mad:
Fuel Injected Hillbillies
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
kk7ue
03-23-2008, 05:24 AM
Wonder how long you had to hang out at the Pilot to compile that list? Two, maybe three hours? :D
You might be a Hillbilly if all the neighbors come to your front yard to find spare parts for their cars.:D:D
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs
After their 11th child, a couple decided that was enough, Besides they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in their area) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."
The husband said to the doctor, "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
( you'll love this...)
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.:D:D
Am I the only one who knows any good redneck or hillbilly jokes ?? Tell me one I have not heard !!!
Ok here's another one
How do you know the Toothbrush was invented by a Hillbilly? Because it would have been named a Teethbrush if someone else had.:D:D:D
K8MHZ
03-23-2008, 11:23 PM
Q) What's a seven course meal to a hillbilly?
A) A six pack and a mess of crawdads.
W5HTW
03-24-2008, 02:00 AM
As much as we may pick on them thar hillbillies (and the fellow who wants to shut down Jeff Foxworthy and Larry The Cable Guy might just want to go read a book - but not the comics) a lot of us try to emulate them.
For example, take a guy from the Bronx. Give him a CB radio and a microphone, and he is instant Gomer Pyle. Like a Japanese playing cowboy. "Gonna git muh saddle leady to put on yon rean and ranky led hoss and hope it don't lear up and toss me and my spurs light out of the saddle, Alligato?"
"Wa'al, they's a big ole four ten thar. Ya'll got a copy on this hyar Brooklyn wadidio?"
I guess it's alright to make fun of others
such as the French, Mexicans or even the Muslims.
Funny thing, Seems like most of the people
making fun of those groups can't
stand it when the tables are turned on them..
I guess as the old saying goes if you can't take it don't dish it out. .
Besides its all in good fun
some people are way to uptight
they should lighten up a bit ;)
Have you heard this one?
A redneck taped toilet paper to his television set and said , "Hey, lookie here, now we have free paper view!"
If we are going to marginalize an entire group of Americans based on negative stereotypes, I'm wondering if the mods will allow some jokes about the Polish being stupid? Can I drop the "N" bomb and make fun of black people here too? Just asking what the standard is here. Please clarify.
Hm, maybe it's "When you shut off the computer, the bad words go away."
Two hillbilly women meet in the afterlife:
1st Hillbilly: Howdy! My name is Wilma.
2nd Hillbilly: Hey I'm Gerdy. How'd ya die?
1st Hillbilly : I froze ta death.
2nd Hillbilly: That sucks!
1st Hillbilly: It wern't so bad. After I quit shaking' from the cold, I begun to geta lill' warm & sleepy, and finally ...............I jest died. What about you?
2nd Hillbilly: I died from'er massive heart attack. I suspected that my Billy was'a cheating, so I come home a' lil early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found
him all by his self on the porch a watchin' TV.
1st Hillbilly: So, whad ya do?
2nd Hillbilly: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere, so I started a runnin' all over the house a lookin'. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the chicken house and searched. Then I went back through every closet in the house and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,
and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st Hillbilly: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer on the front porch-----------we'd both still be alive!
K1CJS
03-24-2008, 12:27 PM
I agree, some people are just a bit too touchy. As long as the jokes are for a laugh, there's no harm in them. I'm Polish--well, half Polish anyway with the other half French. Just think--when I talk with my hands I can't understand what I'm saying!
Ok my turn!! I'll toss in a Greek joke
I hope it's not to risque for QRZ
Q: What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.
Ok one more and I'll quit
How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ? With a Crowbar!!!!!
If you know what a squirrel taste like, you might be a Hillbilly!
If your wife's "hairdo" has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
you might be a Hillbilly!
KD8HRR
03-25-2008, 05:33 PM
You know I blame it all on our English teachers. I remember 3rd grade, my teacher was going over vocabulary with the class.
Teacher: Jack say wash
Jack: Warsh
Teacher Wash Jack
Jack: Warsh
Teacher: Lets try roof Jack
Jack:ruf
Teacher: Thats close enough Jack, you can go on to the 4th grade.
But it hasnt been all bad. I was in Palm Springs back when I was about 19. The girls loved it, they heard me talk and feel in love. Maybe it was pitty, kinda like "awe he's special".:D
kc9jwa
03-25-2008, 05:59 PM
Yip i agree qith all of ya at least most. Jokes can harm no one, it's the mind that convinces. I am native american as well, jokes dont bother me no pun intened to me by those who sya the jokes , or i heard the n- word as well all that added different is red, if you dont know what i am saying there dont worry i rather not say it out right. Anyway if you know what german shepard taste like you must be chinese.;):)
k8wpj
03-25-2008, 10:11 PM
to SC...
here's another odd bit of slang I've noticed...
First, locals will mix up 'sale' and 'sell'....
Where someone not from here would say I need to 'sell' my car...
A SC would say I am fixin' to 'sale' my car....
on the other hand... It's not a garage 'sale' it's a garage 'sell'...
go on,
Call me a damned Yankee... I am from Ohio, and very proud of my College degree.. If speaking like i have half a brain offends you, maybe you need to complete 9th grade.
kc9jwa
03-25-2008, 10:54 PM
to SC...
Call me a damned Yankee... I am from Ohio, and very proud of my College degree.. If speaking like i have half a brain offends you, maybe you need to complete 9th grade.
I for one can understand half a brain.:rolleyes: But hey i only got half a brain cell, does me just fine, lol . But hey i aint been to college so your all good.:)
k8wpj
03-26-2008, 04:46 PM
party on, wayne...
I'm with ya!
LOL:D:rolleyes: