The worst, most humiliating baby names

[k4kyv]

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker”, "Justin Case" or "Oliver Clothesoff"?

In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411/?GT1=43001

[AC4BB]

"Rose Bush"

[VK3ZL]

Ben Dover......:D:D....

[KG6YTZ]

I once had a good-sized list of such names, some of which I got from a book [a compendium of humor], and some of which I found in my local white pages. :) Names like Sybil Bibble, Pebble Belcher, E. Pluribus Kitchen, Oofty Boofty Bowman...

[KG6YTZ]

I AM AMAZED!!! I just found some of my old list on a site that collects old BBS post taglines. Apparently, I had used all of these at some point in the distant past, and they got archived by somebody!

A thousand blessings, whomever you are! The following are allegedly/apparently actual names of real people - some from "The Big Book of New American Humor (http://www.amazon.ca/Big-Book-New-American-Humor/dp/0060965517)," and some [looks to me like a very small percentage] collected by me from local phone books.

A. Toxin Worm.
Albirdia Tuggle.
Aurelian N. Schexnayder.
Blanche Pubis.
Boobpha Upthumpa.
Cletus Clodfelter.
Cleyon Loonsfoot.
Condo Hester.
Curt Puke.
Doodle Dangle Wang.
Dovie Lou Nuckles.
E. Vercel Fuglestad.
Epcy Fooshe.
Epluribus Kitchen.
Exzera Suggs.
Fawntreba Pyrtle.
Felix J. Fluck.
Felty Goosehead.
Fleno Bobo.
Gardiner L. Porcupile.
Grace Pinkapank.
Hadassah Mae Cheatum.
Harod F. Mishmash.
Herbert Wolfeschlaegelsteinhausenbergerhaufstedt.
Hilbert Gitchuway.
I Wanna Looney.
J. J. Oladipupo.
Jingle-Bells Kaplan.
JoAnn Floozbonger.
Joop Spit.
Latawanna Flateau.
Lester Ouchmoody.
Loyal Trout.
Magdalena Babblejack.
Naughtybird Curtsey.
Noble Pluntz.
Olga Beanblossom.
Olga Flabbi.
Olney W. Nicewonger.
Oofty Boofty Bowman.
Opal Lively Zickafoose.
Pebble Belcher.
Peregrine Worsthorne.
Perpetua McGurk.
Petway K. Plunk.
Prudie E. Forcum.
Rolla Longnecker.
Sedonia Minnewather.
Sibyl Bibble.
Taffy Sidebottom Ball.
Tastsumbie DuPea.
Tensil Cheesebrew.
Tivoli B. Disharoon.
Trougout Zumm.
Urban Flusche.
Urbin Bowels.
Varnard P. Longhibler.
Waldemar Floggie.
Wendekk Hinkle Furry.
Xavier Yopp.
Zerubabel Blunt.

[K8ERV]

How about adding "GlenZook" to the rediculous name list?

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

[KG6YTZ]

How about adding "GlenZook" to the rediculous name list?
Would Glen Zook perhaps have any relatives named Gad...? :p

Added: Now that I think about it, I believe the list I posted might have come entirely from that book. I don't think it includes any of the names I found on my own. But there are some real doozies in that collection, too, like the poor soul whose first name is Semen. Nevermind what his [?] last name is. :D [Post it? No. PM it? Ask me.]

[kd8dey]

had a Guidance councilor in Jr High named newspickle
and a French teacher named hairytoes :D

[n4sva]

Fanny Rash

[N2RJ]

Goldenpalace.com

[nq6v]

How about the parents who dress their kids to look like baby gang bangers, and teach then from a very early age to be bullies, ensuring them futures as either prison inmates or prison guards?

And how about the parents who bring their kids to M.D,s to have their ears pointed to look like the Vulcan of their choice?

Or the smart-assed guy who names his son Sue?

[kd0jbn]

When we were living in Michigan there was a guy that played for the Detroit Lions named Harry Colon.

Also, the woman who processes the time cards where I work is named Shirley Shirley.

[k0ews]

My wife's cousin is a social worker in St. Louis. She once had a case where there were twins. Their names? Lemonjello and Orangjello.

[K8EEI]

Last name Pidasso , first name Stuart , but they call him Stu :D

[KW4MW]

When we were living in Michigan there was a guy that played for the Detroit Lions named Harry Colon.


Ah yes, Harry Colon - played for the Jags when they were first formed and the announcer always dragged his name out when announcing the lineup - much to the delight of the crowd who would chime in. 70,000 people saying Haaaarrrryyyyyy Colooooonnnnn in unison.

At one time I was stationed with a Commander Officer and a Seaman Seaman.

Also we had a young non-rated enlistee whose last name was Stains and he married a Wave who was also non-rated. Their marriage didn't last too long until she filed for divorce.

The cause on the docket was referred to as Seaman Stains vs. Seaman Stains.

[KW4MW]

My wife worked as a nurse for years. Sometimes the Moms would come in without a clue as to what to name their baby and pick up a word that sounded like a good name from the nurses conversations.

Meconium and Eurine come to mind.

[kc9jwa]

This is a great thread, and yes i cant believe how parents name thier children very odd names, some just my goodness what are they thinkin. Theres that one favorite tv star of mine his full real name i guess is meat loaf a day. One of my uncles names is well d***, as another name for a man's yeah. Alot that have so many letters and are so strange. If i had a boy his name would be brian, or code, a girl, jennifer, nickole. Period that be it.

[ae4fa]

The worst one might be in Hampton County, SC. The boy's name is . . .

Well, I can't spell it out here.

But it's pronounced (short i here) shi-thayd.

I'm sure you can figure out the spelling.

Absolutely true. A friend's wife taught him in 2nd grade.

There was also one ine my wife's school district years ago. Her middle name was nevaseen. Her mother explained it was because the girl had never seen her father.

Sure enough, she came through our office just a couple of years ago, and that was the middle name reported by NCIC on her rap sheet.

Makes me wonder if some people really should be invountarily sterilized before they have a chance to procreate.

[wb5ydk]

You Texans out there will know this one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg

[kb0yup]

One year in kindergarten I taught 5 Delta Dawns. (guess what song was popular the year they were born)

I also had Patty Cake (she asked to be called Pat)

And Harley Davidson Motsenbacher.

There are more ways to spell the name "Crystal" than I ever knew were possible.

[N4AUD]

My old man worked in the mines with a guy named Easton West. He lived in Clintwood, Va. and I actually met him. He said he got pulled over once and didn't have his license on him, and the officer asked him his name and he told him. The officer thought he was just being a jerk and repeatedly asked for his name, and he was just as insistent that WAS his name. It was finally resolved peacefully.

[n4sva]

I have heard of an Orangello and Fragillee

[K8MHZ]

From the Muskegon Co. phone directory, circa 1968, Peter Lipps.

I went to school with James James and Randy Randolf.

And let's not forget 'Condoleeza'. What a fine specimen she turned out to be.

[nq6v]

There was an Arizona paramedic and copter pilot who died a few years back. Poor guys name was James Bond.

Also, a guy I worked with was named Orion Rigalis.

I met a girl named Tabitha, and a few named Samatha.

[K9STH]

When I was in high school the name of an "honor student" at another school was Ophelia Celf. There was a large photograph of her in that school's yearbook. Then there is Charles C. Charles who's middle name is Charles (his mother did have any imagination).


For those who think my last name is "funny": Be aware that Zook is the 143rd most common last name in the United States! There are tens of thousands of us. The name has its origins in Switzerland and one of the Swiss cantons ("states") is Zug from which Zook comes. My ancestors were Mennonites who came from Switzerland to Germany then what is now Belgium to Pennsylvania (in 1719 and 1721) descending from 3 cousins who's families came in those years. All persons born Zook in this country (along with most Zug, Zugg, Zaug, Zaugg, Zuk, Zuck, Zock, and Sook - among other spellings) are direct descendents of Hans Zaugg who was a Mennonite minister in Switzerland. People think it is an "unusual" last name. However, most people know at least one Zook and do not realize that it is a fairly common name.


Glen, K9STH

[kc7jty]

http://rss.weht.net/pics/moonunit.jpg
moon unit

[KE6SHJ]

Ben Dover......:D:D....



When I was in grade school there was a kid with that same exact name. Well Benjeman but we used to poke fun of him all the time. Roll call was always a riot.

Teacher "Ben, Ben Dover?"

Ben: "Present."



With hordes of laughter in the class :p

[KB0LPI]

I had a teacher in HS who was a real Richard Head. Yes, a real Richard Head.

When I was a cashier I took a check from Mia Sohoni.

[KG6YTZ]

Y'know, I had almost forgotten about this dude, but he was an intern here at the station for a short time, several years ago. Kapauhi Stibbard.

That's pronounced "Ka-powie." :)

[VK3ZL]

When I was in grade school there was a kid with that same exact name. Well Benjeman but we used to poke fun of him all the time. Roll call was always a riot.

Teacher "Ben, Ben Dover?"

Ben: "Present."



With hordes of laughter in the class :p
http://forums.qrz.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
:D
Lucky he didn't have a couzin called Phil McCracken.

[K3XR]

Guess it's a generation thing, but notice how folks are naming their kids with dog names and their dogs with kids names.

[K8ERV]

There are tens of thousands of us.

Glen, K9STH


RUN everyone, there are Zooks on the loose!!

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

[k1sfa]

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp

My wife's cousin is a social worker in St. Louis. She once had a case where there were twins. Their names? Lemonjello and Orangjello.

[k1sfa]

I worked with a guy named Mike June. He was a bit older (to my 19-year-old self at the time, 35 was old). Well, he married this god-awful ugly woman. She was the 35-year-old type who wore all pink and ruffles, sweatshirts with airbrushed kittens - you know what I mean?

About a year after their marriage, they had a baby girl - ugly little thing, bless her heart. They named her April May.

[KB3PXR]

I don't know if this is a true story or not, but in High School a teacher told me the story of a guy with a bad name. This guy's name was Jack Ass (notice the spacing and capitalization). I forget the middle of the story but at the end some newspaper or magazine had his name as JackAss and Jack was going to sue. My teacher wondered who would name a child Jack with a last name like that.

[K8ERV]

I liked Sparkle Plenty.

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

[kc9jwa]

The next poll would be simulair to this, if someone were to, have it as....... The cutest names for your pets. God knows what and how much people pamper or have for thier pets is amazing. I name my male pet.... Demon, my female pet...... Princess. Those are the cutest i yet heard about.:)

[kf6rdn]

RUN everyone, there are Zooks on the loose!!

TOM K8ERV Montrose Colo

GadZooks!


Paging Mike Hunt.


One of my BF 1942 names: Hoof Hearted.

His Arabic cousin Yousef Hearted.

[N0KLT]

My mother used to tell about teaching in a school system that had a pair of twins in one of the lower grades, Harry and Rosey Butts. I am not sure of the spelling on Rosey but I know the other spellings are correct. Some folks never really think about things when they name kids it seems.

[AF6FH]

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty (http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/)

[K8MHZ]

An in depth study:

http://www.ethanwiner.com/funnames.html

I almost forgot about Shanda Lear.

[kb0yup]

http://www.chiefwanadubie.com/

This guy was going to run for governor this year against the incumbent Gov. Blunt, but Blunt decided not to run again.

[KW4MW]

The classic - Mike Hunt

[KI4PEQ]

I went to school with a guy named Dick Hertz.:D

[KG6YTZ]

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty (http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/)
I was thinking of naming my son Toolio. Does anyone know the origin on that one?
---[Jane] DeSac

Toolio DeSac. Boy, can't think of any way that kid'll get picked on. That's one taunt-proof name there!
ohhhhboy... :D

Note to self: MUST... BOOKMARK... THAT... SITE!!!

[N5RLR]

I once worked with a Mason Dixon.

Junior.

:D

[KG6YTZ]

A friend of mine in the 4th grade was named Ominexy Valle. [OM-in-ex; the y is silent.]

One Google match [but no pic]. He joined the Navy, apparently.

[n8yx]

Neighbors named one of their daughters "Chevy Ann".

I don't know if it was in honor of her place of conception or if that crowd watches too much NASCAR...

[vk4agk]

Bindy (famous you might know)

http://ianh.typepad.com/res_publica/2004/11/bindies_a_brief.html

Horrible little things...:confused:

[kc9khg]

I worked with two women. Beatty Wanna & Sharon Peters.

[K9STH]

I have a friend who has 3 names before HIS surname. They are June Wilma Frances. Now his mother wanted a girl and got a boy.

He goes by J.W.F. and only his friends call him June. By the way, he is well over 6 feet tall and weighs well over 200 pounds.

Talk about a "boy named Sue"!

Then there is a technician (now retired) from the local gas utility company who's first name is Doris.

Glen, K9STH

[W5GA]

My absolute all time favorite is Nascar driver Dick Trickle.

I was stationed with a guy whose name was Archibald Cleland Tweedie III. Nicknamed ACT 3.

[kb9bit]

A few years ago there was a guy listed in our local phone book by the name of Heywood Jablowmee.

Funny, there was never any answer when the number was called.

[KG6YTZ]

Apparently, they won't list you under an alias around here - real names or business names only. Bummer... I wanted to list myself under an alias just so I would know IMMEDIATELY when the caller was a bleepin' telemarketer. [This was long before the Do Not Call registry improved our lives somewhat.] To make it even more fun, I would've made up something that looked like it might almost be a normal name in Slavistovakia but would be a nightmare to pronounce, just so I could listen to 'em ask for "Mr. or Mrs... uh..." and, I would hope, completely mangle my intended pronunciation of the fictitious name while I laughed quietly to myself.

"That's pronounced SMITH!" I would grumble, insulted, and hang up. :D :D :D

On the other hand, being unlisted has its advantages too, and at least some clown won't be going through my local white pages and adding "my funny name" to his collection... :p

[W2LYS]

The military has a strange effect on names.

I once worked with a Sergeant Sergeant.

I also had to stifle a snicker when I had just gotten to a new base, answered the phone, and the caller identified himself as Major Woody.

Another stifle was in order when I walked past a Major Payne in the base exchange one day...

[ab1ga]

In a number of his Jeeves/Wooster novels, PG (Pelham Grenville) Wodehouse has a character named LG Trotter.

In one instance when Trotter has the goods on him but good, Bertie Wooster turns to Jeeves for guidance and assistance.

Jeeves finds out that Trotter has turned down royal honors not because he'd have to walk backwards in a funny sable robe, but because his full name, Lemuel Gengulphus, would be announced to the world.

Bertie uses this knowledge to ward off the evil Trotter, but he shows some sympathy toward his nemesis by stating:

"There's been some raw work done at the font, Jeeves."

I always remember that line when confronted with a truly unusual name.

:)

[VE1IDX]

One day the wife and I were talking about the names some people gave their kids.I was offering my comments about double names like Richard Richards or David Davidson and even about a town concillor called Ronald Mcdonald.(Now who could take him seriously LOL) She started to laugh and said "OMG I just remembered a poor girl I went to school with". Her last name was Whore and her parents called her Ima.She hated her parents for it and the day she was legally able to change her name on her own she did just that.Can you imagine a young girl growing up with the name Ima Whore?