View Full Version : RECALL NOTICE
kg4kww
04-09-2007, 03:21 PM
<span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'>RECALL NOTICE</span>
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There are no additional fees, charges or actions required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
DANGER: the human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".
Thank you for your attention.
Love,
GOD
ab8ro
04-09-2007, 03:30 PM
That looks like an email from a well meaning, but somewhat off, mother in law.
WWJD?
What Would Jenna Drink?
kg4kww
04-09-2007, 04:36 PM
Repent or burn in hell. What's your choice??
KD6NIG
04-09-2007, 04:42 PM
Extra crispy for me, please http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
kn4ds
04-09-2007, 05:18 PM
I didn't even pent yet... how could I do it again if I haven't done it once?
G0GQK
04-09-2007, 10:28 PM
Well, just get penting and stop being so smart.
G0GQK http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
ka5piu
04-10-2007, 01:02 AM
Hello.
I went to another service location.
The repair is called Islam.
Works for me.
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 09 2007,08:36)]Repent or burn in hell. What's your choice??
Burn, baby, burn...
Disco inferno!
N0KLT
04-10-2007, 03:48 AM
Sounds like he is channeling Johnny Hart before they even planted the guy.
ab8ro
04-10-2007, 03:53 AM
Quote[/b] (ka5piu @ April 08 2007,19:02)]Hello.
I went to another service location.
The repair is called Islam.
Works for me.
It doesn't work that way. He says you're gonna burn in hell.
So I guess that's what's gonna happen, unless of course, you can prove that he's wrong.
Can you?
Quote[/b] (N0KLT @ April 09 2007,23:48)]Sounds like he is channeling Johnny Hart before they even planted the guy.
It's an Undertaker thing. They work Underground Wave.
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif
n0jaa
04-10-2007, 04:14 PM
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 09 2007,11:21)]<span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'>RECALL NOTICE</span>
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
Regardless of who wrote this, I thought it was pretty good. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
kg4kww
04-10-2007, 05:05 PM
<span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'>Daffodil Principle</span>
I think this is a good read and we need to be reminded from time to time.
The Daffodil Principle
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come
To see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a
two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead "I will come next Tuesday", I
promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly
I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.
"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and
fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that
I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time,
Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.
"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks,"
Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."
"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a
small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign
with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden." We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it
over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange,creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.
"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She
lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept
A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory.
We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are
Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000
bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two
hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop.
Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had
forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a
time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing,
learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of
time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can
accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ...
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What I might have
accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty
years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years?
Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way.
"Start tomorrow," she said.
She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays.
The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for
regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"
Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until you pay off your bills
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...
There is no better time than right now to be happy to look towards God and find him. We can also find God's will for us in this one step at a time.
That is all God wants you to do. Forget about seeking what the big picture is concentrate on being obedient to each step that God places before you. Before you know it you will see that you have taken a journey with the Father by your side and accomplished something that you never had dreamed you could.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt, and, Dance like no one's watching.
n0jaa
04-10-2007, 05:16 PM
After many years of testing, revising, retesting and debugging, we at Creators Software Associates (CSA) have decided to install the operating system (OS) upgrade known as Human 2.0. #The reasons for this upgrade are listed below:
The original processor was found to be lacking in several areas of its original operating software, resulting in multiple firmware and hardware failures.
Processing speed was very slow due to the nature of Human 1.0s inability to rapidly process commands.
Interrupts from peripheral devices were occasionally unacknowledged, and false interrupts were acted upon when no actual request was made.
The original OS had a tendency to become corrupted by external programming errors.
Commands from the memory system occasionally caused the OS to overwrite data instead of refreshing it.
Multiple data retrieval errors which caused incorrect data to be recalled, resulting in incorrect functioning of peripheral devices.
A tendency by the OS to corrupt incoming data before it was written to permanent storage.
Low rejection of rogue programs and no virus protection.
Several instances of the OS overriding the system firewall, thereby allowing corrupt data to enter the system and cause malfunctions, sometimes resulting in shutdown or lock-up of the processor.
A tendency by the OS to intercept outgoing data and replace it with corrupt files which were then outputted to the data terminals, resulting in disruption of other external processors.
Inability of the OS to reject dangerous virus programs, Trojan horses, and other destructive data which caused a permanent corruption of the basic I/O system.
Because of these failures, and due to the dire need of an OS upgrade, CSA has authorized the upgrade of all processors to Human 2.0. #Upgrade will be automatically initiated upon the processors entry to a Centralized Human Upgrade and Repair Center Hierarchical (CHURCH) facility.
Upon entering the facility, all processors will be analyzed, diagnostics will be performed and, if/when found to be necessary, the processor will be reloaded with the newer Human 2.0 OS.
Some of the benefits of Human 2.0 include:
Faster processor speed
Stronger virus detection and firewall programs
Installation of new, more powerful logarithms
Expanded help files
Corrupted data acquisition and quarantine
Larger and faster peripheral data buffers
Upgrade and expansion of the Hardware Ethernet Algorithm Router Terminal (HEART) sub-processor
Data dump and rewrite of the Software Output Utility Logic (SOUL) subroutines
Improved transfer of data from short-term memory to permanent storage
Improved rejection of corrupted output data
Improved detection of false interrupts, thereby preventing uncommanded peripheral functions
Renewal of the Server Platform Integrated Relay Input Terminal (SPIRIT) data cache
Refreshing of short-term data at regular intervals, including improved checksum verification to prevent the inclusion of corrupted data
Various other improvements over the old operating system
In addition, the new OS includes a reminder program to prompt the processor to return to the CHURCH facility for occasional program upgrades, deletion of any corrupted files #the OS may be unable to remove, and new data loading. #All processors will also be outfitted with the Basic Integrated Boot and Logic Encryption (BIBLE) manual.
All upgrades will be supervised by a Primary Analysis Software Terminal Output Regulator (PASTOR) program.
For any questions, concerns or comments, please contact Creators Software Associates.
kg4kww
04-11-2007, 04:44 AM
I shall pray for your lost soul.
Now excuse, the dog just let one and I need to leave the room asap.
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif
Thanks for sharing that heart-warming story from the KWW homestead. Don't forget the bottle. For medicinal purposes of course. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
http://i18.tinypic.com/40bgtbq.jpg
k7kwh
04-11-2007, 05:24 AM
Now Human 2.0 has been recalled due to Microsoft detecting major fatal errors in the Basic Input Generator Output Terminal.
All humans will be reloaded with Human 1.1,
featuring Windows Vista Home Premium.
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
KB1GYQ
04-11-2007, 01:42 PM
Beware the "windows authentication" software... if the almighty Bill doesn't like you, or you try to maintain your own system, he will cause your OS to stop working; refuse to give you updates; and call you a thief.
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 10 2007,23:44)]I shall pray for your lost soul.
Now excuse, the dog just let one and I need to leave the room asap.
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif
Dropping code made baby Jesus cry!!!
Who cares if I'm going to hell. All of the cool people are going to be there anyway.
Quote[/b] (n2nh @ April 11 2007,00:11)]Thanks for sharing that heart-warming story from the KWW homestead. #Don't forget the bottle. #For medicinal purposes of course. # #http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif
http://i18.tinypic.com/40bgtbq.jpg
LOL!!
Good one NH!!
Quote[/b] (ka5piu @ April 08 2007,19:02)]Hello.
I went to another service location.
The repair is called Islam.
Works for me.
I think I will pick the naked dancing girl and whiskey room myself. I kind of swore off cloven hoof sex partners and women so ugly they had to be covered from head to toe with a sheet the last time I was in Wales. http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif
kg4kww
04-13-2007, 04:14 AM
DID YOU KNOW?
The very first Supreme Court Justice, John Jay, said:
"Americans should select and prefer Christians as their rulers."
kn4ds
04-13-2007, 04:23 AM
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 12 2007,23:14)]DID YOU KNOW?
The very first Supreme Court Justice, John Jay, said:
"Americans should select and prefer Christians as their rulers."
Fortunately, that wasn't a decision of the Court. We'd have a real hard time finding one.
John Jay seems to have formed himself a little opinion huh?
K8MHZ
04-13-2007, 05:40 PM
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 09 2007,03:21)]<span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'>RECALL NOTICE</span>
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. #The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. #There are no additional fees, charges or actions required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. #Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. #Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
DANGER: the human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. #The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".
Thank you for your attention.
Love,
GOD
So God made a mistake?
Why so long before the recall? Public Relation issues?
kg4kww
04-13-2007, 08:03 PM
God Bless you all, I shall pray for your lost and tormented souls.
VE3HBD
04-15-2007, 11:45 AM
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 13 2007,13:03)]God Bless you all, I shall pray for your lost and tormented souls.
So THAT's what that tingling sensation was.
I'll have to let my Urologist know.
K8MHZ
04-15-2007, 03:25 PM
Quote[/b] (kg4kww @ April 13 2007,08:03)]God Bless you all, I shall pray for your lost and tormented souls.
I'm not the one that posted a long mocking diatribe suggesting that God made a mistake, you are.
I strongly suggest you offer some sort of repentance.
kg4kww
04-16-2007, 03:41 AM
VE3HBD I'm surprised that a Grand Mason would make the comment you did.
My grandfather was a 32nd deg mason and that's something to be proud of.
Why do I bother with trying to save a group of heathens who don't want to be saved??
KG4CGC
04-16-2007, 02:12 PM
Leave this bunch Greg and start seminary school.
It's never too late to get your degree in Evagelism.
You can start your own church too with its own mortuary.
kg4kww
04-16-2007, 02:39 PM
http://www.qrz.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif